Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz "I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him." (Galileo Galilei) Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
-- Wayne Gretzky Maps and Views I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz "Love is always a stranger in the house of avarice." (Andreas Capellanus) "Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) Maps and Views
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life "The depth and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of the customary conditions of their life, for only th Maps and Views Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.
-- Anaïs Nin It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
-- Andre Gide A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- St. Augustine Maps and Views
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
-- G. K. Chesterton The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the
bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham "The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore." (Samuel Butler) Maps and Views Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
-- French Proverb In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled.
-- Paul Eldridge Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. -- John Lyly Maps and Views
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a
madhouse.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Maps and Views "I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson the social sciences were for all those who had not yet decided what to do with their lives, and for
all those whose premature frustrations led them into the sterile alleys of confrontation.
-- Peter Maps and Views
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing.
Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
-- Oscar Wilde No race can prosper till it learns that there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem.
-- Booker T. Washington Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
-- George Santayana Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry Maps and Views Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd Maps and Views
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor
one.
-- Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on Apri Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes
some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes Love is an attempt to change a piece of the dream-world into reality.
-- Theodor Reik Maps and Views "The biggest argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
- H. G. Wells "Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw) Maps and Views
Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H.L. Mencken "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because
generally they are the same people.
-- G. K. Chesterton In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the
unreflective creation, the truth of immortality....The most ideal human passion is love, which is
also the m Maps and Views Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person that loves you
enough chance to love you enough.
-- Dinah Shore Maps and Views
Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
-- Josh Billings Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
-- Anonymous Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes Maps and Views "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) "Have you ever fed your pocket and starved your soul?" (Ivana Santilli, Too Deep) Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to
criticize others.
-- H. Jackson Brown Maps and Views
If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not a poet
enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent p "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Feeding the hungry is a greater work than raising the dead.
-- Saint John Chrysostom Goodbye, Everybody!
-- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. "Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history Maps and Views "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali Its failings notwithstanding, there is much to be said in favor of journalism in that by giving us the
opinion of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.
-- Oscar W Maps and Views
Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West "You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." (Albert Camus, The Fall) Maps and Views If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
-- Irwin Corey "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Maps and Views
I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
-- Wilson Mizner If there is any one proof of a man's incompetence, it is the stagnant mentality of a worker who,
doing some small routine job in a vast undertaking, does not care to look beyond the lever of a
machi Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who work and those who
take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there.
-- INDIRA "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) Maps and Views Don't anthropomorphize computers -- they hate it.
-- Anonymous Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Maps and Views
