Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason "Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any compliment and limit, but only o For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world; and that is an idea whose time has
come.
-- Victor Hugo "A man who flies from his fear may find he has only taken a shortcut to meet it." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) Recreation and Sports "The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.
-- Wilfred Sheed Recreation and Sports
"Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
-- Gail Godwin Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.
-- John Galsworthy Recreation and Sports All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd Recreation and Sports
The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband. Tauzin backs term limits -- But he thinks it's a bad idea.
-- Headline, story in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Feb 20, 1995 The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
- Emile Zola There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more
they possess.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke Recreation and Sports I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. It is not because it is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are
difficult.
-- Lucius Anneaus Seneca The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
-- Ellen Hubbard Recreation and Sports
Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good
questions.
-- Woody Allen In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that
no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac Whatever you are, be a good one.
-- Abraham Lincoln If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.
-- Elizabeth Ashley Recreation and Sports In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
- W.B. Prescott The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted
in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism.
-- Heidi Hartmann, The Unha The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper Recreation and Sports
If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
-- George Bernard Shaw Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life "Think off-center." (George Carlin) Recreation and Sports "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from the other animals....except weasels.
-- Homer Simpson, character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) Recreation and Sports
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people
themselves.
-- August Strindberg "Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Walk beside me and just be my friend." (Albert Camus) "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) "Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock 'n roll." (Shigeru Miyamoto, game designer for Nintendo) It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the Recreation and Sports "Death solves all problems--no man, no problem." (Josef Stalin) Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
-- George S. Patton, Jr. Recreation and Sports
The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing.
Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
-- Oscar Wilde Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say." (Kurt Vonnegut) It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law Recreation and Sports Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
-- Anon. I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy Recreation and Sports
There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
-- George Bernard Shaw Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.
-- Lauren Bacall When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
- Buckminster The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.
-- Virginia Woolf Recreation and Sports "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.) "Vegiburgers are wrong." (Mike Kaup) Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-- Albert Einstein Recreation and Sports
There are trivial truths, and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
-- Neils Bohr "You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used.
-- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words "Friends are those people who know the words to the song in your heart and sing them back to you when you have forgotten the words." (Anonymous) Recreation and Sports "One pretty good definition of college is that it's a place where people are made to read difficult books." (Jonathan Franzen) I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz It is a known fact that men are practical, hardheaded realists, in contrast to women, who are
romantic dreamers and actually believe that estrogenic skin cream must do something or they
couldn't cha Recreation and Sports
Success is just a matter of attitude.
-- Darcy E. Gibbons Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way
around the laws.
- Plato Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin "... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) Recreation and Sports Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
- G. B. Burgin Recreation and Sports
All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
-- Henny Youngman "The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein Recreation and Sports We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person
perfectly.
-- Anonymous The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-- Gore Vidal Recreation and Sports
