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My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears. LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-- Peter De Vries Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. Health This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper Every man knows his follies and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
-- Josh Billings The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown Health
Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not
impress the neighbors as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston Its failings notwithstanding, there is much to be said in favor of journalism in that by giving us the
opinion of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.
-- Oscar W "Fake is as old as the Eden tree." (George Orson Welles) The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of
them, it's considered to be your style.
-- Fred Astaire Silence is argument carried out by other means.
-- Ernesto "Che" Guevara Health It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should
live honourably.
-- Kant, Immanuel Dreams never hurt anybody if you keep working right behind the dreams to make as much of
them become real as you can.
-- Frank W. Woolworth Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright Health
Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon
compounds that crawl.
-- Mike Adams The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this
is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker Health I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
-- John Cage You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen Health
You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and
members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." (Mae West) Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash Health Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy The mathematician lives long and lives young; the wings of his soul do not early drop off, nor do
its pores become clogged with the earthy particles blown from the dusty highways of vulgar life.
-- I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all
the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde Health
It was a day like this Marco Polo left for China. What are your plans for today?
--Loesje "I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's w My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a
philosopher.
- Socrates "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a
woman.
-- Virginia Woolf Health Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of
existence.
-- Sydney Smith "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford Health
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Gandhi The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil
underneath.
-- Jacob Braude Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll, (seen attributed to "R.S. Ingersoll" - a typo?) Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. Health Use your own best judgment at all times.
-- The entire Nordstrom's Department Stores policy manual Destiny is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, It is a
thing to be acheived.
-- William Jennings Bryant A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope Health
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." (John Benfield) Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West Health Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
-- Irwin Corey I don't know exactly what democracy is. But we need more of it.
-- Anonymous Chinese Student, during protests in Tianamen Square, Beijing, 1989 There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it.
-- Anonymous Health
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one
thing.
-- Abraham Lincoln Establishing yourself, furnishing a house, building up a comfortable existence, and having that menace hanging over your head all the time - no, I prefer to live in hotels, cafés, just passing through Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." (Chuck Jones) Health Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos "Beauty without expression is boring." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Health
"I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
-- Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One
cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the
marvelous str All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story Health He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're
the boss."
-- Anonymous "When thou art at Rome, do as they do at Rome." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley Health
Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job
will cost.
-- Anon Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
-- Mark Twain "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) Health "Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours." (Dale Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.
-- Moliere Health
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." (Edger Allen Poe) To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
-- Ghandi Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken Health Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the
wrong remedies.
-- Groucho Marx Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. -- Borge The best defense is a good offense.
-- Anonymous Health
