With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar--a practice which is still continued.
-- Helen Rowland There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
-- George Bernard Shaw Education The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
-- Robert M. Pirsig I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon Education
It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious.
-- Oscar Wilde "One pretty good definition of college is that it's a place where people are made to read difficult books." (Jonathan Franzen) Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
-- Carl Friedrich Gauss, when informed that his wife was dying No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln Education I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb "Life is measured by the rapidity of change, the succession of influences that modify the being." (George Eliot) blah "A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Education
Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, That government is best which governs least.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849 I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides "What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to a human soul." (Joseph Addison) Education "Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
-- Bill Hoest You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family. Education
"The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) "The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for the appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George Bernard Shaw I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am.
-- Samuel Johnson Education "I have learned that to be with those I like is enough." (Walt Whitman) We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
- Niels Bohr "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Education
The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside
desperate to get out.
-- Michel de Montaigne It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious.
-- Oscar Wilde Education Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to
benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.
-- Ralph Mars I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.
-- Alexandre Dumas pere I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
-- Henny Youngman Education
Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
-- Samuel Butler We live at a time when man believes himself fabulously capable of creation, but he does not
know what to create.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
- Charles de Gaulle "What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Education "Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." (Dave Barry) Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen Education
Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
-- Samuel Johnson If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton "Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any compliment and limit, but only o The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
-- Margo Kaufman There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.
-- George Armstrong Custer Education "Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers." (Socrates) Art consists of limitation. The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame.
-- G. K. Chesterton In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the
unreflective creation, the truth of immortality....The most ideal human passion is love, which is
also the m Education
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
- General Douglas MacArthur Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
- Isaac Asimov May you never leave your marriage alive. I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
- Henry David Thoreau Education The fantasy which serves as a support for the figure of the Stalinist Communist is therefore
exactly the same as the fantasy which is at work in the Tom and Jerry cartoons.
-- Slavoj Zizek "I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's w We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first.
-- Anonymous Education
Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by
definition, is unassailable.
-- James Baldwin, Nobody Knows My Name, 1961 No other success can compensate for failure in the home.
-- David O. McKay, Encyclopedia of Mormonism, Advice to parents at General Conference of he
LDS Church, April, 1964 Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire Education Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than
you is a maniac.
-- George Carlin The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to
passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . .
grand Education
MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two
slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Education The difference between a man who faces death for the sake of an idea and an imitator who goes
in search of martyrdom is that the former expresses his idea most fully in death while the latter
really "If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln Education
The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be "There is nothing more fearful than ignorance in action." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, Criticisms, Reflections and Maxims) "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) It is not good enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.
-- Rene Descartes "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e Education What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen A multiple personality is in a certain sense normal.
-- George H. Mead When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl Education
