"Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature
machine gun.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
-- ROBERT FROST Great Bardfield The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain
terrible.
-- Jean Kerr Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous Honor the ocean of love.
-- George de Benneville Great Bardfield
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) "In literary criticism the critic has no choice but to make over the victim of his attention into something the size and shape of himself." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins Great Bardfield Spinster: A bachelor's wife. "I think people resist freedom because they're afraid of the unknown. But it's ironic....That unknown was once very well known. It's where are souls belong....The only solution is to confront them--co In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the giants on whose
shoulders we stand.
-- Gerald Holton Great Bardfield
Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. "Death where is thy sting? Love, where is thy glory?" (William Shakespeare) "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) "I've never let my school interfere with my education." (Mark Twain) When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry Great Bardfield "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." (Chuck Jones) A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so belike is that.
-- Shakespeare, William I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst Great Bardfield
Seek the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day.
-- Thornton Wilder It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crow Trust, but verify.
-- Ronald Reagan Women and Cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it.
-- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love, Lazarus Long Great Bardfield God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
-- André Maurois I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal Great Bardfield
Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer.
-- Anon. We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.
-- Seneca The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their
attitudes of mind.
-- William James In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.
-- Helen Rowland Great Bardfield Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Courage: doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
-- Eddie Rickenbacker The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason Great Bardfield
A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland "Hold a true friend with both your hands." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A. Knopf By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total
disaster. But the investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it cost
a fortune Great Bardfield Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx "Hold the fort! I am coming!" (General William Tecumseh Sherman) "I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) Great Bardfield
One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
-- Virginia Woolf Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.
-- Thomas Szasz The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
-- Christopher Morley I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein Great Bardfield "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no
character.
-- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of fig "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) Great Bardfield
The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce Study men, not historians.
-- Harry Truman The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.
-- Virginia Woolf It is not because it is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are
difficult.
-- Lucius Anneaus Seneca Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings Great Bardfield Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
-- Buddha Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
-- Jean Ke Great Bardfield
There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of
them, it's considered to be your style.
-- Fred Astaire When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
- Samuel Palmer Great Bardfield "It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else." (John W It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-- Gore Vidal I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Great Bardfield
"I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter." (Blaise Pascal) "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously u May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford Great Bardfield "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own
language and forthwith it is something entirely different.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) Great Bardfield
There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
-- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President Great ability develops and reveals itself increasingly with every new assignment. Baltasar
Gracian Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
-- James Matthew Barrie Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper.
-- Unknown history student Great Bardfield A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A. Knopf Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds.
-- Buddha Great Bardfield
