Jinx Comedy Club - The best new acts from the London Stand-up Circuit brough to The Jinx Comedy Club.
Leigh Art Trail - The trail gives 36 of the best local artists the opportunity to display their work in 27 shops and galleries in the town.
Leigh Camera Club - Club information, members' images, history, competition winners, guest page and extracts from the magazine.
Tulsa Shuffle Line Dance Club - Club information, dates, venues, directions, dance and music details, what's on and when.
Oakleigh Park Studio - Commercial and fine art photography studio, displaying artwork by local photographers and other artists. Describes the studio's commercial photography services, as well as local photography events.
"The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular body and its indifference to
substitutes is one of life's major mysteries.
-- Iris Murdoch True thinkers are characterised by a blending of clearness and mystery.
-- Victor Hugo Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republic Arts and Entertainment Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
-- Anonymous In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons Arts and Entertainment
The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
-- Albert Einstein Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
-- Abraham Lincoln Arts and Entertainment Great innovations should not be forced on slender majorities.
-- Thomas Jefferson A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) Arts and Entertainment
Honorable, adj. Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary
to mention all members as honorable; as, ``the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.'
-- Bierce, A Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work "Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers." (Socrates) Arts and Entertainment "If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world." (Blaise Pascal) There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another
to the world.
-- Antonio Machado blah "An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion." ( Arts and Entertainment
"The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery blah bl "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) Arts and Entertainment Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Good friends are good for your health.
-- Irwin Sarason "Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas." (Anonymous) Arts and Entertainment
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love,
but no friendship.
-- Oscar Wilde My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who work and those who
take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there.
-- INDIRA If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright Arts and Entertainment .. I am indebted to the cat for a particular kind of honorable deceit, for a greater control over
myself, for a characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long
per The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Arts and Entertainment
Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.
-- Max Frisch Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A. Knopf Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce Arts and Entertainment Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
- Karl Wallenda I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-- Sam Kinison Arts and Entertainment
A multiple personality is in a certain sense normal.
-- George H. Mead You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
-- W.S. Gilbert "If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?" (Vince Lombardi) Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with
it.
-- Colin Powell The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.
-- Yiddish Proverb Arts and Entertainment "I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
-- James Joyce Arts and Entertainment
It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." (Edger Allen Poe) The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Arts and Entertainment Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs Arts and Entertainment
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar To love another person is to help them love God.
-- Søren Kierkegaard "God is Man's stupidest idea." (Marcel Duchamp, French Dadaist) Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.
-- Byrd Baggett Arts and Entertainment Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) Grow old with me! The best is yet to be!
-- Robert Browning Arts and Entertainment
"Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) Marry in haste, repent in leisure.
-- Tilney I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the
advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first.
-- Benjamin Franklin The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- Henry Louis Mencken Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Plutarch Arts and Entertainment The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge "I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning
it.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Arts and Entertainment
"The man who never made a mistake never made anything." (Derek Longdon, Tongariro Power Development, Turangi, New Zealand) In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin Spinster: A bachelor's wife. The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.
- Henry Kissinger "Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any compliment and limit, but only o Arts and Entertainment "People drag their progeny around with them like a ball and chain, like some terrible deadweight that hinders their every move - and that, as often as not, effectively winds up killing them." (Michel We have a habit in writing articles published in scientific journals to make the work as finished as
possible, to cover up all the tracks, to not worry about the blind alleys or describe how you had The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill Arts and Entertainment
