"In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat." (Robert Byrne) The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the
chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
- unknown Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
- Richard Bach What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen Education I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
-- Mme de Staël Education
If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.
-- Lisa Moriyama "One pretty good definition of college is that it's a place where people are made to read difficult books." (Jonathan Franzen) This book fills a much-needed gap.
- Moses Hadas in a review I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crowf Education All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor Education
An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
-- Sacha Guitry It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
- Aristotle If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we
can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.
-- Cybi Education Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that
cannot be taken from you.
-- Oscar Wilde Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon
compounds that crawl.
-- Mike Adams "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) Education
"Think off-center." (George Carlin) Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
-- Robert Frost If God does not exist, then everything is permitted.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Devils I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul.
-- Jean Cocteau You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories.
-- Stanislaw J. Lem Education The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously.
-- Nicholas Murray Butler Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
- Lewis Perelman If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis Education
If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Sir Winston Churchill Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the
bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth Education We can do no great things; only small things with great love.
-- Mother Teresa America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to
degeneration without the usual intervention of civilization.
-- George Clemenceau Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan Education
The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-- Richard Braunstein "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) "Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop." (Usman Asif) I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
-- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues Dreams never hurt anybody if you keep working right behind the dreams to make as much of
them become real as you can.
-- Frank W. Woolworth Education Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn Education
Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman "Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger." (Franklin P. Jones) "I have learned that to be with those I like is enough." (Walt Whitman) Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard Education It was a day like this Marco Polo left for China. What are your plans for today?
--Loesje "Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad." (Anonymous) What is politics, after all, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other peoples'
decisions for them?
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All Education
I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul.
-- Jean Cocteau "Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes." (Oscar Wilde) Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.
-- Samuel Johnson "I have no special gift; I am only passionately curious." (Albert Einstein) The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley Education I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.
-- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic
wastes to Third Wo "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world; and that is an idea whose time has
come.
-- Victor Hugo Education
"Well begun is half done." (Aristotle) If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.
-- Wilfred Sheed In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.
-- Christopher Morley Is there life before death?
-- Belfast Graffito The better part of one's life consists of his friendships.
-- Abraham Lincoln Education Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of
humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them
down people's throats.
-- Howard Aiken Education
Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-education from happening. [...] The
average American (should be) content with their humble role in life, because they're not tempted
to The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost That government is best which governs least.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849 Truth must necessarily be stranger than fiction, for fiction is the creation of the human mind and
therefore congenial to it.
-- G. K. Chesterton Remember your dreams.
-- Maryanne Radmacher-Herhey Education The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin When you're experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want,
and you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion.
-- Fred Astaire Education
Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to
criticize others.
-- H. Jackson Brown To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour.
-- Robert L. Stevenson Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
-- Igor Stravinsky You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee Education "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz Education
