The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like
a black mistake.
-- D. H. Lawrence All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.
-- Oscar Wilde "I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's w I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous Orsett "When you resort to attacking the messenger and not the message, you have lost the debate." (Addison Whithecomb) "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) "The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Orsett
You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
-- Beverly Sills The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton Children are a poor man's riches.
-- English proverb Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job
will cost.
-- Anon Orsett "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are
capable of being.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us.
-- Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius Orsett
"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind
and understanding. If she says she would like to go out with the Dallas Cowboys, including the
coachin He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
- Sir Winston Churchill "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
--Anon. Orsett Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are
legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of
genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart Orsett
When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland Women and Cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it.
-- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love, Lazarus Long "Every Man and every Woman is a Star." (Aleister Crowley) Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B. Cohen "The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced." (André Gide) Orsett "I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." (John Cage) Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly "Great spirits have always faced voilent protest from mediocre minds." (Albert Einstein) Orsett
"Marriage excuses no one the freak's roll-call." (Joe Orton, What the Butler Saw) My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." (John Keats) Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer Orsett Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing
popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
-- Dave Barry My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. Someday is not a day of the week.
-- Anon. Orsett
A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.
-- James Lowell "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau Beneath the rule of men entirely great, / The pen is mightier than the sword.
-- Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton, Richelieu, II. ii "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth Orsett Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Life is measured by the rapidity of change, the succession of influences that modify the being." (George Eliot) Orsett
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. My religion consists of a humble admiration of the unlimitable superior who reveals Himself in the
slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds. That deeply emotional
convi Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus History repeats itself; that's one of the things that's wrong with history.
-- Clarence Darrow The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley Orsett To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
-- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume Great ability develops and reveals itself increasingly with every new assignment. Baltasar
Gracian Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine Orsett
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. Orsett We live at a time when man believes himself fabulously capable of creation, but he does not
know what to create.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset "A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and
read a book.
-- Groucho Marx Orsett
"The feminists used to say that chivalry and ladyhood were ways of keeping women down and preventing them from standing toe to toe with the guys. Now you've got a lot of women saying that if a guy is I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain We need the iron qualities that go with true manhood. We need the positive virtues of resolution,
of courage, of indomitable will, of power to do without shrinking the rough work that must always
be "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) "If you want to make enemies, try to change something." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) Orsett "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from
ourselves.
-- Tom Robbins Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Orsett
The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
-- Kin Hubbard If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. -- John Lyly I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the
marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory and virtue than education
without natural ability.
Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC) Orsett "The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right." (Mark Twain) If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
-- Bob Edwards I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to
know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
- Clarence Darrow, Orsett
Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
-- Ray Bandy Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs. He who receives an idea from me receives instruction for himself without lessening mine; as he
who lights his taper at mine receives light without darkening me.
-- Thomas Jefferson Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.
And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
-- George Bus Orsett He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who work and those who
take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there.
-- INDIRA Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken Orsett
