Uttlesford District Council - Contains information for and about Saffron Walden, Dunmow, Thaxted, Stansted and the rest of Uttlesford.
Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur As always, victory finds a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
-- Count Galeazzo Ciano, The Ciano Diaries We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
-- Winston Churchill Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings U May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There
are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's
reall U
Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the
writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're
the boss."
-- Anonymous I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all
the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde I date this girl for two years--and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name."
-- Mike Binder Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort U Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.
-- John-Paul Sartre You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family. U
The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero "Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) Experience teaches only the teachable.
-- Aldous Huxley If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
-- Samuel Butler Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.
-- H. L. Mencken U The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same
time, and still retain the ability to function.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald "I think people resist freedom because they're afraid of the unknown. But it's ironic....That unknown was once very well known. It's where are souls belong....The only solution is to confront them--co Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H.L. Mencken U
Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb We have been friends together in sunshine and in shade.
-- Caroline Norton Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht "No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
-- Carl Friedrich Gauss, when informed that his wife was dying U "Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 U
Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley
Temple could do it at the age of four.
-- Katharine Hepburn Better watch out that you won't become a television set in your next life.
--Loesje Honor lies in honest toil.
-- Grover Cleveland "Every Man and every Woman is a Star." (Aleister Crowley) "If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." (Anatole France) U "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
-- Jerry Garcia Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D U
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
-- George Bernard Shaw My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind
woman.
-- S. T. Coleridge I am not young enough to know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde U All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." (Joan Rivers) U
In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever. "Nothing is permanent but change." (Heraclitus) "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them
down people's throats.
-- Howard Aiken U Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
-- Henry Ford The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm "Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." (Native American Proverb) U
Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
-- Albert Einstein U "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what U
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
- Lewis Perelman Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your
temper or self-confidence.
-- Robert Frost When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life
of another.
-- Helen Keller U Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
-- Harry S. Truman What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
-- Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker U
"If you believe everything you read, you better not read." (Japanese Proverb) I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.
-- Michael Winner You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency.
-- W. Somerset Maugham "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) U How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create
it herself.
- Anais Nin "One of the great dangers in having a career is getting bored." (Itzhak Perlman) I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb U
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
- Emile Zola No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
-- Mignon McLaughlin The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein "The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." (Robert Hughes) U It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your
temper or self-confidence.
-- Robert Frost If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible.
-- James McNeill Whistler U
