Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. Well, I think that it's a- it's had some difficult times but I think we have- we, I think, have been able
to make some very good progress and it's- I would say that it's- it's- it's delightful that w "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) "Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Mark Twain Hampshire I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. Hampshire
Don't look back -- something might be gaining on you.
-- Satchel Paige Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and
illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the
writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions.
-- Anonymous The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde Hampshire There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes And gain is gain, however small.
-- Robert Browning Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant
day into your answers.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke Hampshire
The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw "I never learned from a man who agreed with me." (Robert A. Heinlein) Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the
unpalatable.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
- Lao-Tzu Hampshire "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
-- Lisa Hoffman Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
-- James Baldwin Hampshire
If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
-- P. J. O'Rourke The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best
to become the best you are capable of becoming.
-- John R. Wooden, Practical Modern Basketball Hampshire May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
-- H. L. Mencken When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his
life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna Hampshire
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good
taste in men!
-- Wedding Toast Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved.
-- D.H. Lawrence If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get
married.
-- Katharine Hepburn The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.
-- Franklin D. Roosevelt Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. Hampshire "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe Hampshire
Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware;
those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
-- Unknown author, Levitating T I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.
And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
-- George Bus Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
- Richard Bach A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.
-- Oscar Wilde Hampshire Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
-- Wynn Catlin, also attributed to Will Rogers There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor Work is a four-letter word.
-- The Smiths (Morrissey) Hampshire
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-- H. L. Mencken Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and
believing you've witnessed the second coming.
-- Guy Kawasaki "... What good are dreams if they come true?" (Frederick Exley, A Fan's Notes) Hampshire You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
-- Albert Camus "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer Hampshire
True thinkers are characterised by a blending of clearness and mystery.
-- Victor Hugo "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
- Auric Goldfinger, in Goldfinger by Ian L. Fleming One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell
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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
-- Anonymous Hampshire "'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!'" (Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass) Now comes the mystery.
-- Henry Ward Beecher, dying words, March 8, 1887 "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." (Joan Rivers) Hampshire
Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the
writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) .. I am indebted to the cat for a particular kind of honorable deceit, for a greater control over
myself, for a characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long
per Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
-- Victor Hugo Hampshire "I had discovered that a person does not have to be this or be that or be anything, not even oneself. One is free." (Walker Percy, The Moviegoer) The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and
begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken Hampshire
The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 I am become death, shatterer of worlds.
-- Robert J. Oppenheimer, citing from the Bhagavadgita, after witnessing the world's first nuclear
explosion Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions.
-- Anonymous Hampshire The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Jim Scheibel, mayor, St. Paul MN A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally
stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier Hampshire
Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
-- Oscar Wilde Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
-- Robert Frost Hampshire Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
-- Frank L. Visco, How to Write Good May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm
upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in
the palm Hampshire
