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Alton Links

Alton Camera Club - Local photographers group. Site contains History, location, programme, newsletters and photographs by members.
The Wilson Practice - Services available, appointments, out of hours service, clinics, chemist rota, newsletter and bulletin board.
Amery Hill Secondary School - A secondary School for children of 11-16 years of age. Includes description of services and contact details.
The Montessori Children's House - Montessori school for children between two and a half to five years old based in Kingsley. Profile and curriculum.
Lasham Gliding Society - Club information and news, with details of courses and holidays, as well as members' area, photographs and gliding competition section.
Rotary Club of Alton - Information on the organisation, events and membership.
Minden Rose - Ladies side who perform traditional Garland Morris dances. With events diary, photos, group history and news.
Alton Town Council - Everything you need to know about Alton and its council including tourism, government, services and other news.
"I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus." (Norman B Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between. -- David Letterman Obedience is the gateway through which knowledge, yes, and love, too, enter the mind of the child. -- Anne Sullivan "There is no such thing as a person that nothing has happened to, and each person's story is as different as his fingertips." (Elsa Lanchester) "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) Alton No other success can compensate for failure in the home. -- David O. McKay, Encyclopedia of Mormonism, Advice to parents at General Conference of he LDS Church, April, 1964 We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry. -- John Webster What's another word for "Thesaurus?" -- Steven Wright Alton Goodbye, Everybody! -- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones. -- John Cage If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor. -- Eleanor Roosevelt Cricket is best described as organised loafing. -- Anonymous British Radio Broadcaster, 1996 Men have become the tools of their tools. -- Henry David Thoreau Alton "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. -- Fr. Jerome Cummings Alton "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Biography lends to death a new terror. -- Oscar Wilde "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) To keep your marriage brimming With love in the marriage cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it, Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post. -- Philip Streifer, Superintendent Alton Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. -- Jackie Mason What luck for the rulers that men do not think. -- Adolf Hitler Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained. -- John Powell Alton Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. -- Dave Barry "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled. -- Paul Eldridge The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise. -- Roger Simon Alton Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature. -- Tom Robbins Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less. Rabbi Julius Gordon If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue. -- Samuel Butler Alton "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news. -- Bertolt Brecht The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . . grand It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. - Albert Einstein I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me. -- Abraham Lincoln, in a letter to Alton "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson "If you want to make enemies, try to change something." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) Alton It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should live honourably. -- Kant, Immanuel Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have th Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel. -- Boies Penrose, 1931 "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you." (Francois Sagan) Alton A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents. -- H. L. Mencken In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican. -- H. L. Mencken Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great. -- William Shakespeare, Henry IV Alton "Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw) "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) "I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence." (Edger Allen Poe) My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed. -- Christopher Morley Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf. -- Oscar Wilde Alton Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. -- Don Stanford It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off! -- Douglas Jerold, 1858 We can do no great things; only small things with great love. -- Mother Teresa Alton In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains! Tear open packet, unfold and use. -- Directions on moist towelette package "Shared joys make a friend, not shared sufferings." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. -- Oscar Wilde God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. -- Voltaire Alton I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy. -- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board To correct a natural indifference I was placed half-way between misery and the sun. Misery kept me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn't everythin Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. -- Thomas Jones Alton Laywers, I suppose, were children once. -- Charles Lamb "Excellence is in the details. Give attention to the details and excellence will come." (Perry Paxton) God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. - Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner. -- Amy Bloom CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the disg Alton If you can't convince them, confuse them. -- Harry S. Truman The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. -- Yiddish Proverb It ain't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so. -- Will Rogers Alton When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappy! Our darling's now comple It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. - Albert Einstein Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company. -- Charles Evans Hughes If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure? -- Harry Shearer Alton "I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs long enough." -- Arizona senatorial candidate Claire Sargent, on women candidates I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate. -- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President "People expect a certain reaction from a business, and when you pleasantly exceed those expectations, you've somehow passed an important psychological threshold." (Richard Thalheimer, president, The Alton The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just. -- Abraham Lincoln Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. -- John Lyly "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole. -- Bobcat Goldthwait I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again. -- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show Alton The cynics are right nine times out of ten. - Henry Louis Mencken He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. - Abraham Lincoln "I have an unfortunate personality." (George Orson Welles) Alton
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