Never practice two vices at once.
-- Tallulah Bankhead Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another
to the world.
-- Antonio Machado The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce "I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats." (Woody Allen, in regard to the KKK) Government Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Government
Whining is not only graceless, but can be dangerous. It can alert a brute that a victim is in the
neighborhood.
-- Maya Angelou We look forward to the time when the power to love of will replace the love of power. Then will our
world know the blessings of peace.
-- William Gladstone Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte "One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's w Government I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to
me is something else; hard work and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't.
-- Lucille Ball Property may be destroyed and money may lose its purchasing power; but, character, health,
knowledge and good judgement will always be in demand under all conditions.
-- Roger Babson Government
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli I've been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years. For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) Youth is wasted on the young.
-- George Bernard Shaw Government You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the
lessons that history has to teach.
-- Aldous Huxley "I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it." (Ashleigh Brilliant) Government
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz "The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
-- Anonymous "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) Government Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Sir Winston Churchill If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous Government
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau "Genius without education is like silver in the mine." (Benjamin Franklin) Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the
second, "For my best friend."
-- Anonymous What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions; life is
plurality, death is uniformity.
-- Octavio Paz Government I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
-- Paul Boese Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-- Indian proverb Government
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
-- Ernest Hemingway If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
-- Anonymous Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud "It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else." (John W We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour.
-- G. K. Chesterton Government Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way
of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inex Government
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life "Furious activity is no substitute for understanding." (H. H. Williams) Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware;
those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
-- Unknown author, Levitating T "Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop." (Usman Asif) Genius is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration.
-- Thomas Edison Government "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
-- George Bernard Shaw Government
Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
-- Mark Twain I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the
advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first.
-- Benjamin Franklin Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in
accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Oscar Wilde Government Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha There is no future in any job. The future lies in the man who holds the job.
-- George Crane Government
Beneath the rule of men entirely great, / The pen is mightier than the sword.
-- Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton, Richelieu, II. ii Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
-- Mother Teresa The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband bein' big enough to keep his mouth
shut, to step back and see where his wife is wrong.
-- Archie Bunker, character on "All in the Family, It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
-- Mae West Government "Whether it is a black cat or a white cat, as long as it can catch the rat, it is a good cat." (Deng Xiao Ping) Dogma is the sacrifice of wisdom to consistency.
- Lewis Perelman "Conform and be dull." (J. Frank Doble) Government
Beneath the rule of men entirely great, / The pen is mightier than the sword.
-- Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton, Richelieu, II. ii "Great work is done by people who are not afraid to be great." (Fernando Flores) "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) True thinkers are characterised by a blending of clearness and mystery.
-- Victor Hugo Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Jean-Paul Sartre Government The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
-- Horace Walpole The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
- Von Clausewitz Government
"When you resort to attacking the messenger and not the message, you have lost the debate." (Addison Whithecomb) The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning
it.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton "Great work is done by people who are not afraid to be great." (Fernando Flores) Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Government Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person that loves you
enough chance to love you enough.
-- Dinah Shore In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war they kill you in a new way.
-- Will Rogers Government
