Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a
madhouse.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Where there's a marriage without love there will be love without marriage." (Benjamin Franklin) Health Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon I was nauseous and tingly all over... I was either in love or I had smallpox.
-- Woody Allen Health
With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
- G. B. Burgin Your every voter, as surely as your chief magistrate, exercises a public trust.
-- Grover Cleveland Health He would make a lovely corpse.
- Charles Dickens "Even death is unreliable. Instead of zero it may be some ghastly hallucination, such as the square root of minus one." (Samuel Beckett) Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. Health
"What is most appealing about young folks, after all, is the changes, not the still photograph of finished character but the movie, the soul in flux." (Thomas Pynchon) We haven't the money, so we've got to think.
-- Lord Rutherford The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.
-- Billy Sunday One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
-- Sophocles Health The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
-- Edgar Watson Howe Health
The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
-- W.S. Gilbert Health Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through
self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
-- Helen Keller A girl must marry for love and keep on marrying until she finds it.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) Health
Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a losttradition.
-- Jacques Barzun The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing
nothing.
-- George Benard Shaw Health Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-- Albert Einstein "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) "If you want to make enemies, try to change something." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) Health
Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love.
-- French saying Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. What do you take me for, an idiot?
- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy Grow old with me! The best is yet to be!
-- Robert Browning He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
-- Anonymous Health To love another person is to see the face of God.
-- Lyric from Les Miserables "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same
direction.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry Health
Drink to me.
-- Pablo Picasso, dying words Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning
it.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) "God is dead: but considering the state Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Joyful Wisdom) Health Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
-- Marx Groucho, the film "Animal Crackers" Health
A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
-- Edward Abbey I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio The best defense is a good offense.
-- Anonymous All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.
-- Aristotle Health The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
-- Ellen Hubbard It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
-- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, 1962 Health
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you." (Francois Sagan) What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his
life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
-- Karl Marx, dying words to his housekeeper Health Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous Health
Half of the American people never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
-- Gore Vidal It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-- Gore Vidal "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream." (Eleanor Roosevelt) The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper "For better or for worse, our company (The News Corporation Ltd.) is a reflection of my thinking, my character, my values." (Keith Rupert Murdoch, media mogul, 1931-) Health Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe Love is an attempt to change a piece of the dream-world into reality.
-- Theodor Reik Health
I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never
be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.
-- Abraham Lincoln, in a letter to I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor "If you want to make enemies, try to change something." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.
-- Samuel Johnson There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inex Health For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely
unnatural condition.
-- Robert Briffault Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil
underneath.
-- Jacob Braude Health
