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We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters. Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of
genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart Guides and Directories To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the
second, "For my best friend."
-- Anonymous If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire Guides and Directories
"Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and
flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar "The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right." (Mark Twain) "I like boring things." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard Guides and Directories Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack "Furious activity is no substitute for understanding." (H. H. Williams) Guides and Directories
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
-- Stephen Leacock I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
-- Henny Youngman blah "You shall find out how salt is the taste of another man's bread, and how hard is the way up and down another man's stairs." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.
-- Chekhov blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Guides and Directories Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting Facts are the enemy of truth.
- Don Quixote - Man of La Mancha There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity Guides and Directories
As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.
-- Abraham Lincoln "Crime like death is not confined to the old and withered alone. The youngest and fairest are too often its chosen victims." (Charles Dickens, 1812-70, Oliver Twist) "I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the true genius emerges. I don't have enough hair to be a genius. I think you have to have hair going everywhe It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger Guides and Directories Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams "One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter." (Blaise Pascal) Guides and Directories
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset My religion consists of a humble admiration of the unlimitable superior who reveals Himself in the
slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds. That deeply emotional
convi The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
- John D. Rockefeller Guides and Directories For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate,
the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
-- Rainer Maria Ril We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
-- Buck Henry The health of the people is really the foundation upon which all their happiness and all their
powers as a State depend.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Guides and Directories
Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation.
-- Francis Bacon >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh Sir, I would rather be right than be President.
-- Henry Clay, Speech, 1850, referring to the Compromise Measure Guides and Directories A man's reach should exeed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten.
-- Mark Twain Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln Guides and Directories
Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth.
-- Benjamin Disraeli With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) "Growth in wisdom can be measured precisely by decline in bile." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human) Guides and Directories Love cures people, both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.
-- Dr. Karl Menninger A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland "It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world." (John Steinbeck Guides and Directories
Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem
mild harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's
chara To love another person is to see the face of God.
-- Lyric from Les Miserables Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for the appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George Bernard Shaw I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man
will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
-- Henry Ford Guides and Directories I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. we are for the most part
more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.
-- Thoreau I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used.
-- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words "The feminists used to say that chivalry and ladyhood were ways of keeping women down and preventing them from standing toe to toe with the guys. Now you've got a lot of women saying that if a guy is Guides and Directories
Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark
in one another.
-- Kenny Ausubel "Everything in my life has been determined by mistakes." (Gene Wilder) "Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss." (Hal Holbrook, Wallstreet) Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz Guides and Directories "No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
-- Mark Twain Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed Guides and Directories
"If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
-- George S. Patton, Jr. What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone Guides and Directories Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. "Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (George Bernard Shaw) I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used.
-- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words Guides and Directories
Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson And gain is gain, however small.
-- Robert Browning A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." (Andy Warhol) Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing
matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.
-- Amy Bloom Guides and Directories "College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
-- Bertolt Brecht "Self-confidence is the first requisite for achieving great things." (Samuel Johnson) Guides and Directories
