Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. "... What good are dreams if they come true?" (Frederick Exley, A Fan's Notes) Computers and Internet I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene All science is concerned with the relationship of cause and effect. Each scientific discovery
increases man's ability to predict the consequences of his actions and thus his ability to control
futur Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg Computers and Internet
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
- Ambrose Bierce If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor
one.
-- Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on Apri "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real senten Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
-- Anonymous Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx Computers and Internet "I have learned that to be with those I like is enough." (Walt Whitman) Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken "Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop." (Usman Asif) Computers and Internet
The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
-- Hermione Gingold "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different.
-- Tony Bennett, 1995 Computers and Internet Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is.
-- Diane Ackerman The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
-- Samuel Butler Computers and Internet
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings "Not only is there no guarantee of the temporal immortality of the human soul, that is to say of its eternal survival after death; but, in any case, this assumption completely fails to accomplish the I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
-- Gore Vidal The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause
we believe to be just.
-- Abraham Lincoln Computers and Internet You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Computers and Internet
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the
calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
-- Mark Twain We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... Computers and Internet "For others do I wait ... for higher ones, stronger ones, more triumphant ones, merrier ones, for such as are built squarely in body and soul: laughing lions must come." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce Computers and Internet
"Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth "Don't let your ego get too close to your position, so that if your position gets shot down, your ego doesn't go with it." (Colin Powell) The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
-- Thomas Jones Computers and Internet "I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus." (Norman B Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.
-- Scottish Proverb There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy Computers and Internet
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced. Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey "People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say." (Kurt Vonnegut) No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. Computers and Internet "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
-- Andy Warhol Computers and Internet
"Courageous, untroubled, mocking and violent--that is what Wisdom wants us to be. Wisdom is a woman, and loves only a warrior." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when
we created them.
- Albert Einstein Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
-- Oscar Wilde Author: A fool, who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on
tormenting the generations to come.
-- Montesquieu Computers and Internet More than kisses, letters mingle souls.
-- John Donne Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
- Frederick (II) the Great Computers and Internet
Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- Henry Louis Mencken Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
-- Henry Ford Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add
up.
-- Anon May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.
-- Emily Dickinson Computers and Internet When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes
your wife.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw Computers and Internet
To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain We must believe in free will, we have no choice.
-- Isaac B. Singer The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt Computers and Internet Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
-- George Santayana Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three categories-- those that don't work, those
that break down, and those that get lost.
-- Russell Baker You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth
without producing it.
-- George Bernard Shaw Computers and Internet
Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute. Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.
-- Tom Robbins Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
-- Virginia Woolf No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac Computers and Internet The only reward of virtue is virtue.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.
-- Samuel Johnson Computers and Internet
