The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
-- B. F. Skinner A small family is soon provided for.
-- English Proverb I date this girl for two years--and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name."
-- Mike Binder My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
-- Horace Walpole Recreation and Sports If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get
married.
-- Katharine Hepburn "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Bible, Proverbs 16:24) My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way. Recreation and Sports
Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
-- Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare. Act II, Scene II, lines 220-221 "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) My good intentions are completely lethal.
-- Margaret Atwood Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) Recreation and Sports A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind
woman.
-- S. T. Coleridge Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of
responsibility at the other.
-- Ronald Reagan, Saturday Evening Post, 1965 Recreation and Sports
I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.
-- Oscar Wilde Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
-- Helen Keller "Vegiburgers are wrong." (Mike Kaup) Character is what you are in the dark.
-- Dwight L. Moody I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.
-- Socrates Recreation and Sports The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
- Andrew Marvell That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the
lessons that history has to teach.
-- Aldous Huxley Recreation and Sports
I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
-- Mae West One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
-- Virginia Woolf What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can
never tell.
-- Joan Crawford Recreation and Sports I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.
-- Calvin Coolidge "Character is determined more by the lack of certain experiences than by those one has had." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre Recreation and Sports
Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little He who has lost honor can lose nothing more.
-- Publilius Syrus To love another person is to help them love God.
-- Søren Kierkegaard "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." (William Shakespeare) Count your age with friends but not with years.
-- Anonymous Recreation and Sports An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-- Jean-Jacques Rousseau Recreation and Sports
Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour.
-- Robert L. Stevenson I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.
-- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic
wastes to Third Wo If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
-- Bob Edwards When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
- Sir Winston Churchill Recreation and Sports Nothing says lovin' like marrying your cousin!
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
-- William Butler Yeats, from "He wishes for the cloths of heaven" Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos Recreation and Sports
This book fills a much-needed gap.
- Moses Hadas in a review Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crow I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette "It seems to me that almost all our sadnesses are moments of tension, which we feel as paralysis because we no longer hear our astonished emotions living." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poe Recreation and Sports I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me
is another matter.
- Sir Winston Churchill Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen Recreation and Sports
A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence
University education.
-- George Bernard Shaw "When I was four years old they tried to test my IQ, they showed me this picture of three oranges and a pear. They asked me which one is different and does not belong, they taught me different was wro You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams "What dies if freedom lives? What lives if freedom dies?" (Lindsay Anderson, British filmmaker, from if.... (1968) When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland Recreation and Sports The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and
ethical infants.
-- General Omar Bradley Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. -- James Holt McGavran Recreation and Sports
blah "Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce Where there is love there is life.
-- Gandhi "A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." (Henry B. Adams) The open-minded see the truth in different things: the narrow-minded see only the differences.
-- Author Unknown Recreation and Sports Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
- Mark Twain They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them.
-- Anonymous Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B. Cohen Recreation and Sports
Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor
one.
-- Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on Apri No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
-- Mignon McLaughlin When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
- Buckminster A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi Recreation and Sports If your professor wrote it, it's as near to the truth as you ever need to get.
-- John Watson, University of Canterbury We must become the change we want to see.
-- Gandhi Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the
wrong remedies.
-- Groucho Marx Recreation and Sports
Give the people not hell, but hope and courage.
-- John Murray The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time Eternity." (Jerzy Kosinski, Polish novelist, from his suicide note) Recreation and Sports A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.
-- James Lowell Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. Recreation and Sports
