Leaside Church, Ware - Joint Methodist and United Reformed Church. Overview, worship, prayer and diary. Part of the Waltham Abbey and Hertford circuit.
Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just
flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around Tear open packet, unfold and use.
-- Directions on moist towelette package What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Society and Culture A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.
-- Joan Borysenko Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Society and Culture
Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from the other animals....except weasels.
-- Homer Simpson, character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show "Courageous, untroubled, mocking and violent--that is what Wisdom wants us to be. Wisdom is a woman, and loves only a warrior." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Courageous, untroubled, mocking and violent--that is what Wisdom wants us to be. Wisdom is a woman, and loves only a warrior." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity "I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence." (Edger Allen Poe) Society and Culture Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin "Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That's cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
-- Marvin Kitman Society and Culture
The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 Tear open packet, unfold and use.
-- Directions on moist towelette package 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." (Albert Einstein) Society and Culture Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley
Temple could do it at the age of four.
-- Katharine Hepburn I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a
woman.
-- Virginia Woolf Now comes the mystery.
-- Henry Ward Beecher, dying words, March 8, 1887 Society and Culture
What do you take me for, an idiot?
- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing.
Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
-- Oscar Wilde Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H.L. Mencken The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when
we created them.
- Albert Einstein "Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences." (Isadora Duncan) Society and Culture In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
-- Aaron Machado Society and Culture
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are
difficult.
-- Seneca A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read.
-- Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA Society and Culture "The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
-- Pablo Picasso "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) Society and Culture
Love is only the game that is not called on account of darkness.
-- M. Hirschfield The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy
the waking hours much more.
-- Woody Allen A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence
University education.
-- George Bernard Shaw Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin "I have learned that to be with those I like is enough." (Walt Whitman) Society and Culture "Even death is unreliable. Instead of zero it may be some ghastly hallucination, such as the square root of minus one." (Samuel Beckett) People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only
make $500,000.
-- Pete Incaviglia, baseball player, 1990 "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." (George Orwell) Society and Culture
May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters. "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed.
They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.
-- John Hogan, Commonwealth "The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) Society and Culture I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
- Honore de Balzac I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and
members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President Society and Culture
If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives. We must believe in free will, we have no choice.
-- Isaac B. Singer Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Society and Culture We look forward to the time when the power to love of will replace the love of power. Then will our
world know the blessings of peace.
-- William Gladstone Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.
-- F. M. Knowles Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a
madhouse.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Society and Culture
I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I
believed in liberals...
-- G. K. Chesterton Genius is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration.
-- Thomas Edison NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows
how to make us disobedient.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
-- George Bernard Shaw Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow Society and Culture The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the
purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
-- Anatole France It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they
are not here to worship what is known, but to question it.
-- J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov Society and Culture
Its failings notwithstanding, there is much to be said in favor of journalism in that by giving us the
opinion of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.
-- Oscar W Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-- H. L. Mencken Skepticism is the chastity of the intellect, and it is shameful to surrender it too soon or to the first
comer: there is nobility in preserving it coolly and proudly through long youth, until at last In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled.
-- Paul Eldridge I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black Society and Culture "Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows it?" (Alec Guinness) Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to
be grateful.
-- Phyllis McGinley I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to
me is something else; hard work and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't.
-- Lucille Ball Society and Culture
"The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen "Not only is there no guarantee of the temporal immortality of the human soul, that is to say of its eternal survival after death; but, in any case, this assumption completely fails to accomplish the Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds.
-- Buddha Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions.
-- John Randolph Society and Culture With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
-- Abraham Lincoln In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
- W.B. Prescott It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau Society and Culture
