"Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson "People expect a certain reaction from a business, and when you pleasantly exceed those expectations, you've somehow passed an important psychological threshold." (Richard Thalheimer, president, The In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth Disability Resources Life is a succession of lessons enforced by immediate reward, or, oftener, by immediate
chastisement.
-- Ernest Dimnet "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen Disability Resources
Courage is the price that Love exacts for granting peace.
-- Amelia Earhart When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-- Anatole France One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passersby
see only a wisp of smoke rising from the chimney and continue on their way.
-- Vincent Van Gogh "Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." (Gore Vidal) The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes Disability Resources When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find
that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our
pain Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person
must be fired.
-- Conway's Law Disability Resources
Opera in English is, in the main, about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
-- H. L. Mencken A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde History is more or less bunk.
-- Henry Ford I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison "The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn." (David Russell) Disability Resources The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-- Jean-Jacques Rousseau Destiny is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, It is a
thing to be acheived.
-- William Jennings Bryant It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed Disability Resources
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing The Churches must learn humility as well as teach it.
-- George Bernard Shaw, St. Joan We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind
her stands his wife.
-- Groucho Marx "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) Disability Resources A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- St. Augustine Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
-- Elvis Presley Disability Resources
Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes
your wife.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Motivation will almost always beat mere talent.
-- Norman R. Augustine To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. "Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours." (Dale "Those who feel certainty are stupid and those with any imagination or understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Disability Resources A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain My other wife is beautiful. Disability Resources
Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills The soul is healed by being with children.
-- Fyodor Dostoyevski "I should reproach him for not giving us enough evidence." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970, what he would say to God if they 'met') "A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) "Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers." (Socrates) Disability Resources All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
-- Edgar Allan Poe Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." Disability Resources
"For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?" (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) It was a day like this Marco Polo left for China. What are your plans for today?
--Loesje Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for
appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George bernard Shaw I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) Disability Resources "Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational." (Charles Schultz) Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil
underneath.
-- Jacob Braude "If you want to make enemies, try to change something." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) Disability Resources
I was nauseous and tingly all over... I was either in love or I had smallpox.
-- Woody Allen "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." (Abbie Hoffman) Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
-- Ernest Hemingway Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra Disability Resources I would have made a good Pope.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Disability Resources
"The masses are far more likely to believe a big lie than several small ones." (Adolf Hitler) What is politics, after all, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other peoples'
decisions for them?
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
-- Josephus Daniels I am in total control, but don't tell my wife. Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of
fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality
and Disability Resources Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.
- James Stephens "I'll endorse with my name any of the following; clothing AC-DC, cigarettes, small tapes, sound equipment, ROCK N' ROLL RECORDS, anything, film, and film equipment, Food, Helium, Whips, MONEY!!" (And If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
-- Mother Teresa Disability Resources
Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
-- Harry S. Truman The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
- Von Clausewitz "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.
-- Mae West The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen Disability Resources Trust, but verify.
-- Ronald Reagan Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way
around the laws.
- Plato Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of
humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James Disability Resources
"The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul.
-- Jean Cocteau "He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." (Chinese Proverb) Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all,
give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of
sexual Disability Resources Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute. "If you meet a woman that smokes cigars ... marry her." (Arthur Lotti) If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
-- Mother Teresa Disability Resources
