Laughter Club - Free stand-up comedy shows each week at various venues in the county. Includes show details and contact information.
If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." (Mae West) A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde Arts and Entertainment If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be
closed for any other business.
-- Abraham Lincoln Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn Love is an attempt to change a piece of the dream-world into reality.
-- Theodor Reik Arts and Entertainment
Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
-- Anonymous After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
-- G. K. Chesterton I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon It is not because it is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are
difficult.
-- Lucius Anneaus Seneca Arts and Entertainment "In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." (Eric Hoffer) The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
-- Mae West Arts and Entertainment
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pens&eactue;es, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer Arts and Entertainment There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and
flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy Arts and Entertainment
Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
-- William Hazlitt Chance is always powerful. - Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it,
there will be a fish.
-- Ovid I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.
-- Grace Hansen Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine Arts and Entertainment A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf Give the people not hell, but hope and courage.
-- John Murray Arts and Entertainment
Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without
the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
-- Bob Edwards "A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." (Henry B. Adams) When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson "Beauty without expression is boring." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Arts and Entertainment Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
-- Pablo Picasso blah "There is a melancholy that stems from greatness." (Sébastien-Roch Nicolas Chamfort, 1740/41-1794) May you never leave your marriage alive. Arts and Entertainment
He who kisses the joy is it flies lives in eternity's sunrise
-- William Blake Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
-- Virginia Woolf "No one lies so boldly as the man who is indignant." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup Arts and Entertainment "It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world." (John Steinbeck And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. Arts and Entertainment
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
-- Bertrand Russell Do or do not. There is no try.
-- Yoda, character in the movie The Empire Strikes Back Hardly a year passes that fails to find a new, oft-times exotic, research method or technique
added to the armamentarium of political inquiry. Anyone who cannot negotiate Chi squares,
assess randomi "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do." (Dale Carnegie) "I'll tell you something: Luxury disgusts me." (Giorgio Armani) Arts and Entertainment "I have no special gift; I am only passionately curious." (Albert Einstein) The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and
believing you've witnessed the second coming.
-- Guy Kawasaki Arts and Entertainment
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
-- Henry Ford The open-minded see the truth in different things: the narrow-minded see only the differences.
-- Author Unknown I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
-- Virginia Woolf Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from
both sides.
-- Margaret Thatcher Arts and Entertainment I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the
calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
-- Mark Twain "The perception of beauty is a moral test." (Henry David Thoreau) May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. Arts and Entertainment
Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
-- Virginia Woolf If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man
will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
-- Henry Ford America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
-- Bobcat Goldthwait A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.
-- Oscar Wilde "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) Arts and Entertainment Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
-- Wilson Mizner Arts and Entertainment
Education is an admirable thing, but nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
-- Oscar Wilde Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. We haven't the money, so we've got to think.
-- Lord Rutherford "One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.
-- Christopher Morley Arts and Entertainment As for courage and will - we cannot measure how much of each lies within us, we can only trust
there will be sufficient to carry through trials which may lie ahead.
-- Andre Norton It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
-- Harry Truman One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good
reputation.
-- Oscar Wilde Arts and Entertainment
Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRouchefoucauld Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do.
--Don Galer "Hold the fort! I am coming!" (General William Tecumseh Sherman) The more faithfully you listen to the voices within you, the better you will hear what is sounding
outside.
-- Dag Hammarskjold It is not good enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.
-- Rene Descartes Arts and Entertainment "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) The fantasy which serves as a support for the figure of the Stalinist Communist is therefore
exactly the same as the fantasy which is at work in the Tom and Jerry cartoons.
-- Slavoj Zizek Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
-- Henry Ford Arts and Entertainment
