Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total
disaster. But the investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it cost
a fortune "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." (John Keats) We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Education There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inex There are many things worth living for, there are a few things worth dying for, but there is nothing
worth killing for.
-- Tom Robbins "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Education
You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
-- Albert Camus I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant "Truth lies not only in a dream, but in many dreams." (Pier Paolo Pasolini, Italian poet, novelist and filmmaker) The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this
is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion Education Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. If God does not exist, then everything is permitted.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Devils Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous Education
"Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-- Sam Kinison If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin Education The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce More than kisses, letters mingle souls.
-- John Donne A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
-- Mae West Education
"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) "The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
-- George Bernard Shaw "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
-- Mark Twain Education Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." "One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Education
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. "You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." (Albert Camus, The Fall) You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
-- Beverly Sills Education Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers Education
Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of
the time.
-- E. B. White Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and
begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and
ethical infants.
-- General Omar Bradley It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being.
-- Benjamin Disraeli The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo Education Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without
the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him.
-- Shelley Winters "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) Education
Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without
the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.
-- Nathan Hale We must become the change we want to see.
-- Gandhi "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." (Alexander Pope) The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill Education Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
-- Victor Borge "For better or for worse, our company (The News Corporation Ltd.) is a reflection of my thinking, my character, my values." (Keith Rupert Murdoch, media mogul, 1931-) A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
-- Edgar Watson Howe Education
"One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy, character on "The Muppet Show," U.S. television show I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by
definition, is unassailable.
-- James Baldwin, Nobody Knows My Name, 1961 When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you
don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New Engla Education I don't know exactly what democracy is. But we need more of it.
-- Anonymous Chinese Student, during protests in Tianamen Square, Beijing, 1989 An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
-- Niels Bohr "I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' Education
"When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.
-- Mao Tse-tung May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
-- Samuel Butler When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being
brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.
-- Cynthia H Education Considering the flames and intolerance, shouldn't USENET be spelled ABUSENET?
-- Michael Meissner When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland "All women love the men they fear. All women kiss the hand that rules them." (Lionel Atwill) Education
Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
-- Harry Truman "O' What may man within him hide, though angel on the outward side!" (William Shakespeare) Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous Education What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost Education
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
-- Anonymous Education Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
-- Benjamin Franklin In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats.
-- English Proverb Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz Education
