Ashford Access Group - Promotes disability awareness and access for disabled persons in the area. Includes details of the group, membership information, meetings, and award scheme for businesses.
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry No other success can compensate for failure in the home.
-- David O. McKay, Encyclopedia of Mormonism, Advice to parents at General Conference of he
LDS Church, April, 1964 Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to.
-- Mark Twain "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Society and Culture There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can't.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." (Chuck Jones) "Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments." (Anonymous) Society and Culture
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of
responsibility at the other.
-- Ronald Reagan, Saturday Evening Post, 1965 Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
- H. M. Warner, founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927 "It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard." (Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, US writer) Society and Culture When you are right, you cannot be too radical; When you are wrong, you cannot be too
conservative.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
-- Nancy Mitford I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board Society and Culture
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Women: If they're not turning down your proposals for marriage, they're accusing you of
suspicious behavior in the women's lingerie changing room.
-- Cliff Clavin, character on "Cheers", U.S. Televi "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Society and Culture When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
- Buckminster In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.
-- Lenny Bruce I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I
believed in liberals...
-- G. K. Chesterton Society and Culture
Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
-- Mark Twain "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." (John Benfield) "I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) Society and Culture You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.
-- Lisa Moriyama Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau Society and Culture
When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you
don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New Engla You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's
arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll, Outside Truth can be a dangerous thing. It is quite patient and relentless.
-- R. Scott Richards "Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time." (E. B. White) NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows
how to make us disobedient.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Society and Culture Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
-- Rita Rudner By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you
will become a philosopher.
-- Socrates Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons Society and Culture
I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard Men have become the tools of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.
-- Samuel Paterson I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to
me is something else; hard work and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't.
-- Lucille Ball When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. Society and Culture "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) "I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter." (Blaise Pascal) "Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) Society and Culture
Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like
what you are getting.
-- Anonymous One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all,
give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of
sexual "Have you ever fed your pocket and starved your soul?" (Ivana Santilli, Too Deep) Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.
-- Samuel Johnson Love cures people, both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.
-- Dr. Karl Menninger Society and Culture "Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences." (Isadora Duncan) If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber Dogma is the sacrifice of wisdom to consistency.
- Lewis Perelman Society and Culture
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
-- Gail Godwin I am become death, shatterer of worlds.
-- Robert J. Oppenheimer, citing from the Bhagavadgita, after witnessing the world's first nuclear
explosion Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle
enough of them.
-- Flannery O'Connor Society and Culture Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Society and Culture
Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same
thing nowadays.
-- Oscar Wilde ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man. I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
-- Henny Youngman "Think off-center." (George Carlin) Society and Culture Knowledge is the intellectual manipulation of carefully verified observations.
-- Sigmund Freud Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
-- Karl Wallenda I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never
be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.
-- Abraham Lincoln, in a letter to Society and Culture
Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning
there was about a 25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have
people all The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten.
-- Mark Twain Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest till it has gained a hearing.
-- Sigmund Freud Society and Culture Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for
your face.
-- Anita Wise Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
- Rudyard Kipling Society and Culture
Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
-- Oscar Wilde "Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
-- Pope John Paul I "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e Society and Culture Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
-- James Stephens "Fake is as old as the Eden tree." (George Orson Welles) Society and Culture
