"Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell Recreation and Sports To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the
second, "For my best friend."
-- Anonymous I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Recreation and Sports
Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced. "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does
not change his mind.
-- Leonardo da Vinci, Notebooks I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-- W. C. Fields Recreation and Sports Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
-- Albert Einstein "One will rarely err if extreme actions be ascribed to vanity, ordinary actions to habit, and mean actions to fear." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Recreation and Sports
There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world; and that is an idea whose time has
come.
-- Victor Hugo "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine If pleasures are greatest in anticipation, just remember that this is also true of trouble.
-- Elbert Hubbard Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
-- Samuel Johnson Recreation and Sports The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C. Stacey Woods I am in total control, but don't tell my wife. "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) Recreation and Sports
At the bottom no one in life can help anyone else in life; this one experiences over and over in
every conflict and every perplexity: that one is alone. That isn't as bad as it may first appear; and If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
-- Thomas Szasz "Great spirits have always faced voilent protest from mediocre minds." (Albert Einstein) The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I "How is it that we never have time to do a job right, but we always have time to do it over?" (Anonymous) Recreation and Sports Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
-- Ray Bandy "A man must dream a long time in order to act with grandeur, and dreaming is nursed in darkness." (Jean Genet) If we don't change the direction we are going,
We are likely to end up where we are heading.
-- Chinese saying Recreation and Sports
"The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
-- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." (Calvin Coolidge) Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than
you is a maniac.
-- George Carlin Recreation and Sports Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good
questions.
-- Woody Allen You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen Recreation and Sports
I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Jim Scheibel, mayor, St. Paul MN "... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane Recreation and Sports Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987 I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Recreation and Sports
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is.
-- Diane Ackerman To realize that you do not understand is a virtue;
Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect.
--Lao-Tzu, "Tao Teh Ching" That government is best which governs least.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849 "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) Recreation and Sports "Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any compliment and limit, but only o "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, Recreation and Sports
The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the
purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
-- Anatole France "Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) "See - one side of my face is gentle and kind, incapable of anything but love of my fellow man. The other side, the other profile, is cruel and predatory and evil, incapable of anything but lusts and Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "No man is clever enough to know all the evil he does." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Recreation and Sports If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
- George Burns Recreation and Sports
Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
-- G. K. Chesterton If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
-- Samuel Butler There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery Recreation and Sports Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.
- Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep
up with software demands Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins "The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one." (Joan Baez) Recreation and Sports
"One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
- Lao-Tzu If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
-- George Bernard Shaw I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst There is no future in any job. The future lies in the man who holds the job.
-- George Crane Recreation and Sports I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
-- Mae West "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard Recreation and Sports
It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was
doing spying.
-- Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an i My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me!
-- Henry Ford I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous It was a day like this Marco Polo left for China. What are your plans for today?
--Loesje Recreation and Sports Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
-- Danny Kaye You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
-- Beverly Sills Recreation and Sports
