Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just
flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
Harry S. Truman As for the virtuous poor, one can pity them, of course, but one cannot possibly admire them.
-- Oscar Wilde Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon Ashton It makes no difference who you vote for - the two parties are really one party representing four
percent of the people.
-- Gore Vidal "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Ashton
Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes
your wife.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
-- Maya Angelou For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John "One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) Ashton What is politics, after all, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other peoples'
decisions for them?
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
-- William Butler Yeats, from "He wishes for the cloths of heaven" A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland Ashton
I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.
-- Oscar Wilde To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to
finish without knowing what you have written.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau To correct a natural indifference I was placed half-way between misery and the sun. Misery kept
me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn't
everythin "How is it that we never have time to do a job right, but we always have time to do it over?" (Anonymous) Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
-- Helen Keller Ashton We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
- Niels Bohr There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one
of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
-- George Bernard Shaw Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Ashton
"Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop." (Usman Asif) Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions.
-- Anonymous The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-- Richard Braunstein "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) Ashton Motivation will almost always beat mere talent.
-- Norman R. Augustine I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
-- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have
to shave twice a day.
-- Adlai Stevenson Ashton
What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crow "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of
the time.
-- E. B. White Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Ashton An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested
he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not a poet
enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent p Ashton
"The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." (William Blake) "I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the true genius emerges. I don't have enough hair to be a genius. I think you have to have hair going everywhe When a man takes an oath, Meg, he's holding his ownself in his own hands. Like water. And if he
opens his fingers then- he needn't hope to find himself again.
-- Robert Bolt from A Man For All Seas Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken "The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing." (John Powell) Ashton "The most beautiful things in the world are the most useless, peacocks and lilies, for instance." (John Ruskin) Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987 The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.
- Henry Kissinger Ashton
"In order to keep anything cultural, logical, or ideological, you have to reinvent the reality of it." (Ani Difranco) Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out next morning it was
someone else.
-- Rogers The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it.
-- G. K. Chesterton Ashton Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
-- James Baldwin Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parent, gobble their food, and tyrannize their
teachers.
-- Socrates For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf Ashton
Our own heart, and not other men's opinions form our true honor.
-- Coleridge, Samuel Taylor In the end, everything is a gag.
-- Charlie Chaplin We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent.
-- Anatole France Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same
direction.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry "Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) Ashton It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
-- Andre Gide Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple, learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a
dozen.
-- John Steinbeck Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Ashton
Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
-- Boies Penrose, 1931 Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
-- Igor Stravinsky "The English have all the material requisites for the revolution. What they lack is the spirit of generalization and revolutionary ardour." (Karl Marx) Great innovations should not be forced on slender majorities.
-- Thomas Jefferson "Death is always and under all circumstances a tragedy, for if it is not, then it means that life itself has become one." (Theodore Roosevelt) Ashton Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig This book fills a much-needed gap.
- Moses Hadas in a review If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing Ashton
There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at
heart, you can't take part. And you've got to put your body upon the gears and upon the wheels,
upon the lev I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
- Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943 Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely
been detected.
-- Oscar Wilde Experience teaches only the teachable.
-- Aldous Huxley When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry Ashton Before marraige a man will like awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage
he will fall asleep before you have finished saying it.
-- Anon. "Deep down, no one really believes they have a right to live. But this death sentence generally stays tucked away, hidden beneath the difficulty of living. If that difficulty is removed from time to t The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder Ashton
"Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation." (Larry Flynt) If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model.
Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush...
-- Dawn French The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill Honor lies in honest toil.
-- Grover Cleveland "The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced." (André Gide) Ashton "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen Ashton
