Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday
afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good
questions.
-- Woody Allen "The biggest argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Church These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis "In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat." (Robert Byrne) Church
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
-- Albert Einstein "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") Destiny is but a phrase of the weak human heart - the dark apology for every error. The strong
and virtuous admit no destiny. On earth conscience guides; in heaven God watches. And destiny
is but th Church Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
-- Henry Ford The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other
is ready.
-- Henry David Thoreau Church
There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another
to the world.
-- Antonio Machado "In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." (Eric Hoffer) I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
-- Mae West Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Church Marriage is like a cage--one sees the birds outside desperate to get in and those inside equally
desparate to get out.
-- Di Peatlins Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh Church
The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules.
-- Elting E. Morison As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
- e e cummings Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
-- W.S. Gilbert Church We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
-- Mme de Staël "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." (Albert Einstein) It makes no difference who you vote for - the two parties are really one party representing four
percent of the people.
-- Gore Vidal Church
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein Life is not an easy matter.... You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism
unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above
weakness Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C. Stacey Woods Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov Church "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali Church
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
- H. G. Wells The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
-- Joseph Heller, God Knows Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier Church Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
-- Danny Kaye Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
-- Christopher Morley Church
Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine "The biggest argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) As life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action
of his time, at the peril of being not to have lived.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Church Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor "I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs
long enough."
-- Arizona senatorial candidate Claire Sargent, on women candidates Knowledge is the intellectual manipulation of carefully verified observations.
-- Sigmund Freud Church
Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.
-- George E. Woodberry Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find
out how to do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt "The market is not an invention of capitalism. It has existed for centuries. It is an invention of civilization." (Mikhail Gorbachev, June 8, 1990) Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
- Rudyard Kipling "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Church "I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me." (George Bernard Shaw) Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber Church
If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible.
-- James McNeill Whistler Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) Church You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada Church
"Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That's cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they
do.
-- Olin Miller I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.
-- Gandhi Church The important thing is not to stop questioning.
-- Albert Einstein The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind
woman.
-- S. T. Coleridge The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C. Stacey Woods Church
Count your age with friends but not with years.
-- Anonymous Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H. L. Mencken Our own heart, and not other men's opinions form our true honor.
-- Coleridge, Samuel Taylor Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson Church Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. Vote for the man who promises least. He'll be the least disappointing.
-- Bernard Baruch Church
