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Government Links

Oultwood: Lancashire - Directory of local government council web site links using clickable maps and lists.
Lancashire County Council - Detailed information about the council and its services for residents, tourists and businesses. Lists press releases, contact details and external sites.
Lancashire Constabulary - The official web site of the police, lists local services, news, HQ information, crime prevention and recruitment.
Lancashire County Council Waste Management - Information and consultation on Lancashire's waste management, disposal and recycling programmes.
Lancashire Magistrates Courts - On-line information service. Lists annual reports, court details and contact information.
Shevington Parish Council - The official web site of the council and community of Shevington, Shevington Vale, Crooke, Appley Bridge and district. The site includes Council business, local amenities, community and forums.
The Queen's Lancashire Regiment - The Red Rose County's own infantry regiment. Lists history, news, sport and a recruitment area.
Probation in Lancashire - Details of Probation in Lancashire's activities in crime reduction, public protection, sentencing, community punishments and rehabilitation.
Lancashire Police Authority - Responsible for the organisation of Lancashire police. News, events, meetings and publications.
Lancashire Partnership - What do we want Lancashire to be like in 20 years? Current state, amibitions and members.
Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of it. -- Nick Mirov As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy. -- Abraham Lincoln Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. "I've just had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that's the record." (Dylan Thomas, final words) Government May you never leave your marriage alive. "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football. -- Fran Lebowitz Government An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be. -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top. -- Ed Abbey Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with? -- Rita Rudner Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense. -- Thomas Arnold Bennet Government "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. -- Steven Wright "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) Government Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. -- Frank L. Visco, How to Write Good I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget. -- Adela Rogers St. John Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount. -- Clare Boothe Luce I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am. -- Samuel Johnson The best defense is a good offense. -- Anonymous Government Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun. -- Matt Groening, Love is Hell For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me. -- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. -- Albert Einstein Government Value your words. Each one may be the last. -- Stanislaw J. Lec "Teacher played hooky. Sent message: 'Receiving instruction. Enjoying myself thoroughly. See you next week.'" (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived "The perception of beauty is a moral test." (Henry David Thoreau) Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. -- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President Government It takes a great deal of history to produce a little literature. -- Henry James Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. -- Russell Baker "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." (John Keats) Government Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives. Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. -- Groucho Marx Drink to me. -- Pablo Picasso, dying words If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavours to live the life which one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. -- Henry David Thoreau The empires of the future are the empires of the mind. -- Winston Churchill Government Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in Heaven. -- P. J The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe. -- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel. -- Boies Penrose, 1931 Government Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice. -- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself. -- Johann Sebastian Bach Now comes the mystery. -- Henry Ward Beecher, dying words, March 8, 1887 Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses. -- Anon. Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. -- Cass Daley Government Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop. -- Anonymous If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed. -- Beau Brummel "I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is." (Alan Watts) Government "We already have the statistics for the future: the growth percentages of pollution, overpopulation, desertification. The future is already in place." (Günther Grass, Winner of the Nobel Prize for Li Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three categories-- those that don't work, those that break down, and those that get lost. -- Russell Baker Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain. -- Martin Mull "One will rarely err if extreme actions be ascribed to vanity, ordinary actions to habit, and mean actions to fear." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) More light! -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, dying words Government "O' What may man within him hide, though angel on the outward side!" (William Shakespeare) Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's nerves Considering the flames and intolerance, shouldn't USENET be spelled ABUSENET? -- Michael Meissner Government Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham "No one ever owns his youth or the women he loves." (Pedro Almodóvar, Live Flesh) He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job. -- Anonymous "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be. -- Paul Valery Government Men have become the tools of their tools. - Henry David Thoreau ( I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think. -- Socrates Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. -- Thomas Jones Government Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some. -- Alfred Hitchcock When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research. -- Wilson Mizner There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. - Frank Zappa "Fear is the dark room where the Devil develops his negatives." (Gary Busey) Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution? -- Marx Groucho, the film "Animal Crackers" Government "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." (Abbie Hoffman) "Education must have an end in view, for it is not an end in itself." (Sybil Marshall) I know nothing about sex, because I was always married. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor Government Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night. -- Finley Peter Dunne, Mr. Dooley O The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons. -- Emerson, Ralph Waldo "Even death is unreliable. Instead of zero it may be some ghastly hallucination, such as the square root of minus one." (Samuel Beckett) "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear. -- Woody Allen Government Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. - Plato We look forward to the time when the power to love of will replace the love of power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace. -- William Gladstone Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man. -- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting married Government The most savage controversies are about those matters as to which there is no good evidence either way. -- Bertrand Russell "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.) .. I am indebted to the cat for a particular kind of honorable deceit, for a greater control over myself, for a characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long per "I don't believe people die. They just go uptown. To Bloomingdales. They just take longer to get back." (Andy Warhol) An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for love is measured by fullness, not by reception. -- Harold Loukes Government I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle. -- Molly Ivins You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. -- Henny Youngman Genius is an African who dreams up snow. -- Vladimir Nabokov Government
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