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Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.
-- Marcus Aurelius "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) Lancaster Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- Henry Louis Mencken Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-- Mark Twain Per cubic inch, your current TV set is perhaps the dumbest appliance in your home (and I'm not
even talking about the programs).
-- Nicholas Negroponte Lancaster
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
- Sacha Guitry I married beneath me. All women do.
-- Lady Nancy Astor, attributed If we don't change the direction we are going,
We are likely to end up where we are heading.
-- Chinese saying "I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats." (Woody Allen, in regard to the KKK) "I fear we are not getting rid of God because we still believe in grammar." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Lancaster Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-- Semisonic, Closing Time I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
-- Wilson Mizner All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy Lancaster
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry All television is children's television.
-- Richard P. Adler Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory and virtue than education
without natural ability.
Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC) Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes
unpunished.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Lancaster Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke "One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein Lancaster
"For others do I wait ... for higher ones, stronger ones, more triumphant ones, merrier ones, for such as are built squarely in body and soul: laughing lions must come." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Character is what you are in the dark.
-- Dwight L. Moody He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
-- Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not
allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating,
stealing, If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty Lancaster Goodbye, Everybody!
-- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
- Richard Bach "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) Lancaster
Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of
existence.
-- Sydney Smith Value your words. Each one may be the last.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
-- George Santayana "Think where mans glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends." (William Butler Yeats) The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. Lancaster My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way. In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Lancaster
"I'll tell you something: Luxury disgusts me." (Giorgio Armani) Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for
your face.
-- Anita Wise Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Lancaster Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain "If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais Lancaster
"College professors are the people who can't hack it in the real world." (William Thomas) I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
-- Bill Hoest Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
-- Vince Lombardi "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins Lancaster If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take
her off his hands.
-- Sacha Guitry When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Lancaster
Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of
the other person.
-- Mark Twain Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.
-- Emily Dickinson True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.
-- Henry David Thoreau "What dies if freedom lives? What lives if freedom dies?" (Lindsay Anderson, British filmmaker, from if.... (1968) Lancaster You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
-- Robert M. Pirsig "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) Lancaster
A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
-- Edgar Watson Howe "A man is only as faithful as his opportunity." (Chris Rock) The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted
in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism.
-- Heidi Hartmann, The Unha Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.
-- Grace Hansen Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin Lancaster Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. "I don't believe people die. They just go uptown. To Bloomingdales. They just take longer to get back." (Andy Warhol) Lancaster
The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain
terrible.
-- Jean Kerr It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
- Oscar Wilde Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
-- Yogi Berra Lancaster Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
-- Aristotle "In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat." (Robert Byrne) Lancaster
War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli Do not let yourselves be discouraged or embittered by the smallness of the success you are likely
to achieve in trying to make life better. You certainly would not be able, in a single generation, to When one find's oneself in a hole of one's own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of
the workmanship.
-- John Renmerde "It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
-- Gloria Steinem Lancaster There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing, and that's all you'll ever find."
-- Robert Flaherty The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Lancaster
