Morecambe Today - Local news, sports, classified and features.
Logic is in the eye of the logician.
- Gloria Steinem Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw Luck is the residue of design.
- Branch Rickey - former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh Morecambe I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
-- Mark Twain Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings Morecambe
If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
-- George Bernard Shaw Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take
her off his hands.
-- Sacha Guitry In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is
simply one of those things which happen from time to time.
-- Edward P. Tryon What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak
toys?
-- Douglas Coupland Morecambe You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency.
-- W. Somerset Maugham I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they
study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
-- Gerald Early, writer, baseball do He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
-- Confucius Morecambe
I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
-- Mme de Staël The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 Morecambe Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
-- Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet Children are a poor man's riches.
-- English proverb Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed Morecambe
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller "All our best men are laughed at in this nightmare land." (Jack Keroac) Truth must necessarily be stranger than fiction, for fiction is the creation of the human mind and
therefore congenial to it.
-- G. K. Chesterton Morecambe Sex is God's joke on human beings.
-- Bette Davis A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison He who has lost honor can lose nothing more.
-- Publilius Syrus Morecambe
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause
we believe to be just.
-- Abraham Lincoln To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler Morecambe "Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up.
-- Vince Lombardi Cute little babies that fall out of swings - These are a few of my favourite things.
-- Oscar Hammerstein, working lyric for a piece from "The Sound of Music" Morecambe
blah "Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." (Vincent van Gogh) blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) In the early sixties, we were strong, we were virulent...
-- John Connally, Secretary of Treasury under Richard Nixon, in an early 70s speech, as reported
in a contemporary "American Scholar" All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.
-- Oscar Wilde When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry Morecambe You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra We need the iron qualities that go with true manhood. We need the positive virtues of resolution,
of courage, of indomitable will, of power to do without shrinking the rough work that must always
be I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers Morecambe
The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one
of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours." (Dale Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
-- Henry Ford Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Morecambe They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the
House Bank scandal A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
-Robert Frost (1874-1963) A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano Morecambe
Every man knows his follies and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
-- Josh Billings Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
-- George Bernard Shaw I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked
me in the cellar.
-- Anonymous "I should reproach him for not giving us enough evidence." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970, what he would say to God if they 'met') There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house
as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
-- Homer, Odyssey, ninth century Morecambe If God does not exist, then everything is permitted.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Devils "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) "Vegiburgers are wrong." (Mike Kaup) Morecambe
Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
-- Gloria Steinem Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions; life is
plurality, death is uniformity.
-- Octavio Paz By working faithfully eight hours a day, you might eventually get to be a boss and work twelve
hours a day.
-- ROBERT FROST I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a
woman.
-- Virginia Woolf Morecambe May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the
second, "For my best friend."
-- Anonymous Morecambe
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
-- Aristotle Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is Why yes -- a bulletproof vest.
-- James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them.
-- Anonymous Morecambe I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show "Children spell love...T-I-M-E." (Dr. Anthony P. Witham) I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
- Frederick (II) the Great Morecambe
A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot stove for a
minute, it's longer than any hour. That is relativity.
-- Albert Einstein "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) "If you meet a woman that smokes cigars ... marry her." (Arthur Lotti) Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon "Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at." (John Berger) Morecambe Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago blah "There is a melancholy that stems from greatness." (Sébastien-Roch Nicolas Chamfort, 1740/41-1794) My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce Morecambe
