"Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul.
-- Jean Cocteau The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
-- George Bernard Shaw Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein News and Media "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!
-- Mark Russell "This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one." (Arthur C. Clarke) News and Media
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parent, gobble their food, and tyrannize their
teachers.
-- Socrates It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent News and Media Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant
day into your answers.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke "If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world." (Blaise Pascal) Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde News and Media
Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins We can never be sure that the opinion we are endeavoring to stifle is a false opinion; and if we
were sure, stifling it would be an evil still.
-- John Stuart Mill "Genius without education is like silver in the mine." (Benjamin Franklin) Politics have no relation to morals.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli "Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop." (Usman Asif) News and Media "If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day; if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Anonymous) "I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman News and Media
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can
never tell.
-- Joan Crawford Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-- T.S. Eliot "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those
little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived News and Media Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. -- C News and Media
This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read.
-- Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) Character is what you are in the dark.
-- Dwight L. Moody "In literary criticism the critic has no choice but to make over the victim of his attention into something the size and shape of himself." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) News and Media I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
-- Jules Renard The gods too are fond of a joke.
- Aristotle Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.
-- Salvador Dali News and Media
If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model.
Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush...
-- Dawn French Who, being loved, is poor?
-- Oscar Wilde "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken We do not remember days; we remember moments.
-- Anonymous News and Media Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener.
-- Pauline Thomason "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil) As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are
certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein News and Media
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and
begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken To realize that you do not understand is a virtue;
Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect.
--Lao-Tzu, "Tao Teh Ching" Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the
second, "For my best friend."
-- Anonymous We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us.
-- Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius News and Media Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its
prime function of looking forward.
-- Margaret Fairless Barber In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
-- Adlai Stevenson News and Media
I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx "Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?
-- Albert Einstein The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by
trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by l News and Media "Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) "I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence." (Edger Allen Poe) What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen News and Media
An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don't win many accuracy
contests, but they keep the crowd's attention.
-- Anonymous "The English have all the material requisites for the revolution. What they lack is the spirit of generalization and revolutionary ardour." (Karl Marx) If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
- George Bernard Shaw An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl News and Media blah bl "The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
-- Edward Abbey "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) News and Media
If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt I was nauseous and tingly all over... I was either in love or I had smallpox.
-- Woody Allen Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd News and Media "Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad." (Anonymous) One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen News and Media
Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
-- Irwin Corey The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is
that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
-- Anonymous "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." (Andy Warhol) News and Media "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some
don't."
-- Ernest Rutherford Grad school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life.
-- John Rogers, comedian (who holds a graduate degree in physics) News and Media
