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Epworth Links

Epworth Old Rectory - Historic home of the Wesley family. Photographs, opening times and town information.
Isle of Axholme F.H.S. - Epworth - Overview of town history and interesting buildings.
Epworth - Information on shopping and places of interest in the town.
Epworth Pool - Swimming pool opening times, with term and holiday timetables.
Epworth Show - Information on the Epworth village show, country and western festival and saddle club events.
Epworth and The Wesleys - Video documenting on the origins of the Wesleys and Methodism and the area. Details of content and online ordering.
The Wesley Guest House - Information on the facilities, tariff and history of this establishment.
Wesley Memorial Church - Information about this church including history, services, mission policy, finance, Alpha course, links, location and the Old Rectory.
Epworth Online - Community Portal. Includes business finder, jobs, forums, information, and events calendar.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." (Albert Einstein) We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H. L. Mencken Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed. -- Hoshang N. Akhtar "In my opinion, the greatest single failure of American education is that students come away unable to distinguish between a symbol and the thing the symbol stands for." (Paul Lutus) If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model. Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush... -- Dawn French Epworth We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent. -- Anatole France If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it. -- Marcus Aurelius "Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational." (Charles Schultz) Epworth "I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending that haunts our sleep so much as the fear ... that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived." (Rabbi H Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity. -- George Bernard Shaw To teach is to learn twice. -- Joseph Joubert "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) We can say 'Peace on Earth,' we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be. -- Betty Shabazz Epworth It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it. -- François de La Rouchefoucauld "If you want to make enemies, try to change something." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) Its failings notwithstanding, there is much to be said in favor of journalism in that by giving us the opinion of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community. -- Oscar W Epworth I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign. -- Mae West Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the mother. -- Claudette Colbert Everything has been figured out, except how to live. - Jean-Paul Sartre "Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. -- Abraham Lincoln Epworth Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. -- King George V Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them. -- Aristotle "Plato was a bore." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Epworth Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire. -- William Yeats Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera. - James Stephens "I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats." (Woody Allen, in regard to the KKK) What's new? Most of my wife. A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. -- Fr. Jerome Cummings Epworth I must follow the people. Am I not their leader? -- Benjamin Disraeli "Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong." (Oscar Wilde) "Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Epworth History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. -- Napoleon Bonaparte Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. -- Helen Keller "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." (Alexander Pope) The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. -- Anonymous The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost. -- G. K. Chesterton Epworth When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve. -- Francois Cavanna These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder. -- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 Saying that men talk about baseball in order to avoid talking about their feelings is the same as saying that women talk about their feelings in order to avoid talking about baseball. -- Deborah Tan Epworth "The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all." (Harry S. Truman) The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some don't." -- Ernest Rutherford We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. - Vince Lombardi The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment. -- Robert Hutchins, Great Books, 1954 To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. Epworth Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig. -- Anon. Silence is argument carried out by other means. -- Ernesto "Che" Guevara Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top. -- Ed Abbey Epworth It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. - George Bernard Shaw The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who love me. -- George Bernard Shaw There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot successfully I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. -- Groucho Marx blah "It is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness and I pronounce it as certain that there was never a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous." (Benjamin Fran Epworth The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be. -- Paul Valery I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all the time. That would be hypocrisy. -- Oscar Wilde Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a Epworth Destiny is but a phrase of the weak human heart - the dark apology for every error. The strong and virtuous admit no destiny. On earth conscience guides; in heaven God watches. And destiny is but th Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. -- Matt Groening, Love is Hell You can pay attention to the fact, in which case you'll probably become a mathematician, or you can ignore it, in which case you'll probably become a physicist. -- Len Evans, professor, Northwestern Maybe this world is another planet's hell. -- Aldous Huxley Great innovations should not be forced on slender majorities. -- Thomas Jefferson Epworth Silence is argument carried out by other means. - ErnestoCheGuevara He that would have the fruit must climb the tree. -- Thomas Fuller, M.D. "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") Epworth Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the moment. -- Robert Benchley "Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential..." ( He who hesitates is a damned fool. - Mae West The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon. -- Jerry Olson If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner Epworth Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years. -- Anonymous A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. -- Ogden Nash Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks Epworth Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. -- Red Buttons "Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Everything in my life has been determined by mistakes." (Gene Wilder) I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess. -- Oscar Wilde Epworth God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. - Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) "We already have the statistics for the future: the growth percentages of pollution, overpopulation, desertification. The future is already in place." (Günther Grass, Winner of the Nobel Prize for Li Epworth It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain "Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." (Larry Flynt) Everything that can be invented has been invented. - Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 He who receives an idea from me receives instruction for himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine receives light without darkening me. -- Thomas Jefferson There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics. -- Benjamin Disraeli Epworth In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty. -- Christopher Morley Hell is a half-filled auditorium. -- Robert Frost Man and wife make one fool. Epworth
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