Keelby Village - Includes news, history and community links.
St Bartholomew's Church - Information about the church, the heating fund, prayers, music and events, with newsletter, noticeboard and facts about the Saint.
Keelby Methodist Church - Includes a profile of the church, newsletter, and a Christian jokes page.
The Nag's Head - Pub offering details of its menu and special events.
My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. Life isn't a matter of milestones, but of moments.
-- Rose Kennedy If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln Keelby I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 This is the fourth?
-- Thomas Jefferson, dying words I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board Keelby
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this
is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion Whatever you are, be a good one.
-- Abraham Lincoln The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
-- General George Patton "You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." (Albert Camus, The Fall) I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein Keelby May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm
upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in
the palm "By seeing the seed of failure in every success, we remain humble. By seeing the seed of success in every failure we remain hopeful." (Mel Ziegler, founder of Banana Republic) Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. Keelby
If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you are overdressed
-- Kate Halverson Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation.
-- Francis Bacon The mistakes are all waiting to be made.
- chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) on the game's opening position Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
-- Josephus Daniels I hate women because they always know where things are.
-- James Thurber Keelby I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't
certain we knew better.
-- George Bird Evans "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) "Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time." (E. B. White) Keelby
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
- Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable
statues "How is it that we never have time to do a job right, but we always have time to do it over?" (Anonymous) Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and
illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Journalism is merely history's first draft.
-- Geoffrey C. Ward There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you
yourself have altered.
-- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom Keelby Why don't you write books people can read?
-- Nora Joyce, to her husband James We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from
ourselves.
-- Tom Robbins Dogma is the sacrifice of wisdom to consistency.
- Lewis Perelman Keelby
"Genius without education is like silver in the mine." (Benjamin Franklin) A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos "No one ever owns his youth or the women he loves." (Pedro Almodóvar, Live Flesh) The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat Keelby Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?
-- The Artist Formerly Known As Prince I don't know exactly what democracy is. But we need more of it.
-- Anonymous Chinese Student, during protests in Tianamen Square, Beijing, 1989 Keelby
Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing
matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.
-- Amy Bloom The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." (Calvin Coolidge) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx "In fact, most deaths are not tragic. Few people die because of a flaw in character, which is the essential element of tragedy. They just die." (John Chancellor, The News Business) Keelby The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
- George Bernard Shaw It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
-- Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Keelby
Good friends are good for your health.
-- Irwin Sarason If a thing is worth doing at all, it is worth doing badly.
-- Gustav Holst, on amateur music-making Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.
-- Phillip Brooks There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa Keelby The Churches must learn humility as well as teach it.
-- George Bernard Shaw, St. Joan Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes
your wife.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) Keelby
"Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
-- Aldous Huxley Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf Keelby "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." (Abbie Hoffman) Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people
themselves.
-- August Strindberg Keelby
There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Cliches should be avoided like the plague.
-- Anon. To teach is to learn twice.
-- Joseph Joubert Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling Keelby "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
-- Mae West There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
-- Oscar Wilde Keelby
You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
-- Noel Coward "Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong." (Oscar Wilde) Keelby Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Keelby
If we don't change the direction we are going,
We are likely to end up where we are heading.
-- Chinese saying "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." "Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence
University education.
-- George Bernard Shaw Keelby Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
-- Mark Twain What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions; life is
plurality, death is uniformity.
-- Octavio Paz Keelby
