Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
-- Gloria Steinem When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed I've been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years. I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me
is another matter.
- Sir Winston Churchill C It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
-- George Bernard Shaw He who has lost honor can lose nothing more.
-- Publilius Syrus "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) C
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K. Dick None but a good man is really a living man, and the more good any man does, the more he really
lives. All the rest is death, or belongs to it.
-- Herman Melville There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.
-- Albert Schweitzer For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) C Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting someone else to do the work.
-- John G. Pollard "Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die tomorrow." (James Dean) C
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous C What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to
learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano C
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been
widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams "Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential..." ( Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a
holding pattern over Philadelphia.
-- Judith Viorst Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.
-- Samuel Paterson Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden C "The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) "Murder is the very bed-rock of our social institutions." (Octave Mirbeau, The Torture Garden) C
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it
a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
-- Mme de Staël We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
-- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, 1962 "A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) "It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." (Eugene Ionesco) C Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K. Dick We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
- Vince Lombardi C
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
-- Niels Bohr A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
-- Mae West "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." (Jeff Marder) C We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
-- Aristotle It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-- Peter De Vries "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) C
I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber blah "An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion." ( "Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. C A friend is a gift you give yourself.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) Don't look back -- something might be gaining on you.
-- Satchel Paige C
Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and
retaliation. the foundation of such a method is love.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. We got to roll with the punches, play all of our hunches, make the best of whatever comes your
way. Forget that blind ambition, learn to trust your intuition -- plowing straight ahead, come what
may Go away...I'm alright.
-- H. G. Wells, dying words "I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs
long enough."
-- Arizona senatorial candidate Claire Sargent, on women candidates C "The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties." (Oscar Wilde) Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx Launch out into the deep. One discovers by living in scorn of consequence.
-- Essie Summers C
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is
the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be
cr "We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) C Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
-- Tom Robbins We see the brightness of a new page where everything yet can happen.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Book of Hours "To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die." (Thomas Campbell) C
There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire Work is a four-letter word.
-- The Smiths (Morrissey) Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. "Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) C True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is
always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsch The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner C
Whining is not only graceless, but can be dangerous. It can alert a brute that a victim is in the
neighborhood.
-- Maya Angelou "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
- Oscar Wilde No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack C No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) "I have learned that to be with those I like is enough." (Walt Whitman) C
