Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
- Sir Winston Churchill The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up.
-- Vince Lombardi F In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work "I feel I have to protect myself against things. So I'm pretty careful to lose most of them." (George Orson Welles) In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains! F
Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard "It is the nature of a man as he grows older, a small bridge in time, to protest against change, particularly change for the better." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) "We have to be able to criticise what we love, to say what we have to say 'cause if your not trying to make something better, than as far as I can tell, you are just in the way." (Ani Difranco) The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth F I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-- W. C. Fields "Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is even becoming mob." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills F
I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
-- Noel Coward Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker They had a dispute about a night out with the boys. But he finally decided to let her go.
-- Anonymous "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-- Benjamin Franklin F The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein F
"Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin The time is always right to do what is right.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." (Joan Rivers) If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker F Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
-- Fred Allen They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to
run his, either.
-- Anonymous Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.
-- Scottish Proverb F
Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. "... What good are dreams if they come true?" (Frederick Exley, A Fan's Notes) May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. F This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper "Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." (Larry Flynt) We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken F
Love matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn
themselves to a life of vinegar.
-- Countess of Blessington There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
-- Gail Godwin Politics have no relation to morals.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer F A man's reach should exeed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain
and bought jewelry.
-- Rita Rudner "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) F
The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed.
They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.
-- John Hogan, Commonwealth And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover 'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- ee cummings F "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) "To introduce something altogether new would mean to begin all over, to become ignorant again, and to run the old, old risk of failing to learn." (Isaac Asimov) Mathematics transfigures the fortuitous concourse of atoms into the tracery of the finger of God.
-- Herbert Westren Turnbull F
My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who work and those who
take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there.
-- INDIRA If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.
-- Marcus Aurelius No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
-- Mignon McLaughlin The real test of friendship is: Can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy
together those moments of life that are utterly simple? They are the moments people looks back
on at I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor F Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
- Napoleon Bonaparte It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw F
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the
mother.
-- Claudette Colbert The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.
-- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic
wastes to Third Wo "I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending that haunts our sleep so much as the fear ... that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived." (Rabbi H F Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
-- Gloria Steinem Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. F
Women: If they're not turning down your proposals for marriage, they're accusing you of
suspicious behavior in the women's lingerie changing room.
-- Cliff Clavin, character on "Cheers", U.S. Televi Beauty as we feel it is something indescribable; what it is or what it means can never be said.
-- George Santayana And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passersby
see only a wisp of smoke rising from the chimney and continue on their way.
-- Vincent Van Gogh "Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) F If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
-- George Bernard Shaw Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
-- Harry S. Truman I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. F
Obedience is the gateway through which knowledge, yes, and love, too, enter the mind of the
child.
-- Anne Sullivan Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you
have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
-- Aldous Huxley Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes F Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.
-- Dr. Benjamin Spock, American pediatrician, address to new parents Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
-- P. J. O'Rourke She felt in italics and thought in capitals.
-- Henry James F
