"Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they
study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
-- Gerald Early, writer, baseball do "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." (Erica Jong) Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings G You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they
do.
-- Olin Miller "Even death is unreliable. Instead of zero it may be some ghastly hallucination, such as the square root of minus one." (Samuel Beckett) This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn't want to be tracked. It takes
time to get a dance right, to create something memorable.
-- Fred Astaire G
You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.
-- Nathan Hale "REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) People only see what they are prepared to see.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can't.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker G If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield We are not in a position in which we have nothing to work with. We already have capacities,
talents, direction, missions, callings.
-- Abraham Maslow "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." (Cher) G
I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989 "I've never let my school interfere with my education." (Mark Twain) Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
-- Ernest Hemingway "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." (Edger Allen Poe) G "A man is only as faithful as his opportunity." (Chris Rock) I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.
-- Nathan Hale Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper G
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger "Babies are necessary to grown-ups. A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. In a world that is cutting down its trees to build highways, losing its eart Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i Genius has somewhat of the infantine; But of the childish not a touch or taint.
-- Robert Browning "What dies if freedom lives? What lives if freedom dies?" (Lindsay Anderson, British filmmaker, from if.... (1968) G Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- Henry Louis Mencken The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo I didn't accept it. I received it.
-- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and
two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he hel G
Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference
between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I
don't know and "Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) G The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot It takes a great deal of history to produce a little literature.
-- Henry James G
Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau ( Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same
direction.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet We are the echo of the future.
-- W. S. Merwin "Do you know that places only yield up their secrets, their most profound mysteries, to those who are just passing through?" (Salman Rushdie, The Moor's Last Sigh) G "Those who feel certainty are stupid and those with any imagination or understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun G
Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig The limits of my language means the limits of my world.
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 G "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Tauzin backs term limits -- But he thinks it's a bad idea.
-- Headline, story in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Feb 20, 1995 Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
G
Why don't you write books people can read?
-- Nora Joyce, to her husband James Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
-- Victor Hugo We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us.
-- Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first. You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams G Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person that loves you
enough chance to love you enough.
-- Dinah Shore We never live; we are always in the expectation of living.
-- Voltaire Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd G
I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't
certain we knew better.
-- George Bird Evans "Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food." (George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman) It is not good enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.
-- Rene Descartes Study men, not historians.
-- Harry Truman Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.
-- Anonymous G If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein "Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty." (George Washington) Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.
-- Samuel Johnson G
Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.
-- Byrd Baggett "Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it
a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." (Calvin Coolidge) G "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with
the buttered side down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the 2 will hover,
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill G
Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire.
-- William Yeats A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking.
-- Martin H. Fischer Men. You can't live with them. You don't have to.
-- Seen on a t-shirt Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of
hers.
-- Anonymous "Frank and explicit; that is the right line to take when you wish to conceal your own mind and to confuse the minds of others." (Benjamin Disraeli, Sybil) G If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?
-- Harry Shearer An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested
he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie The fantasy which serves as a support for the figure of the Stalinist Communist is therefore
exactly the same as the fantasy which is at work in the Tom and Jerry cartoons.
-- Slavoj Zizek G
