What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
- Ian L. Fleming When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask
is a chance."
-- Anon. "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) I I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the
advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first.
-- Benjamin Franklin I
If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be
closed for any other business.
-- Abraham Lincoln NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows
how to make us disobedient.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) I Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to
criticize others.
-- H. Jackson Brown Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
- Napoleon Bonaparte "I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him." (Galileo Galilei) I
When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway "I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me." (George Bernard Shaw) Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in an institution? "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.
-- Emily Dickinson I "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." (William Blake) It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
- Aristotle "Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms I
Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
-- Stephen Leacock "Life is measured by the rapidity of change, the succession of influences that modify the being." (George Eliot) I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am.
-- Samuel Johnson You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality.
-- Hermann Weyl I It ain't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
-- Will Rogers A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld I
You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality.
-- Hermann Weyl "The most beautiful things in the world are the most useless, peacocks and lilies, for instance." (John Ruskin) You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your
temper or self-confidence.
-- Robert Frost "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
-- Bobcat Goldthwait I The great man fights the elements in his time that hinder his own greatness, in other words his own freedom and sincerity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I think, therefore I'm single.
-- Female philosopher America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a
chair.
-- Arnold Toynbee I
The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon.
-- Jerry Olson Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
-- William Hazlitt Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers I The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republic Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to
criticize others.
-- H. Jackson Brown "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." (Chuck Jones) I
Ambition is not a vice of little people.
-- Michel de Montaigne The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the
bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your
temper or self-confidence.
-- Robert Frost I Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley Only positive consequences encourage good future performances.
-- Kenneth H. Blanchard I
"I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") "As is our confidence, so is our capacity." (William Hazlitt) Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool.
-- Voltaire A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who
marries a man to reform him.
-- Elbert Hubbard I I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
- Isaac Asimov I
If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
-- Virginia Woolf Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
-- Stephen Leacock I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-- Anonymous To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
- Oscar Wilde I "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor "Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time." (E. B. White) I
People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only
make $500,000.
-- Pete Incaviglia, baseball player, 1990 "A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." (Kenneth Tynan) Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature
machine gun.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra I It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
- G. B. Burgin "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." (George Orwell) When a man takes an oath, Meg, he's holding his ownself in his own hands. Like water. And if he
opens his fingers then- he needn't hope to find himself again.
-- Robert Bolt from A Man For All Seas I
The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do." (Dale Carnegie) 'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- ee cummings The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe I Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of
humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James Sex is God's joke on human beings.
-- Bette Davis The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.
-- Winston Churchill I
