Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.
- Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep
up with software demands "My daughter has never forgiven me. for what, I don't know, because for years, she won't speak to me. She blackens my name in the press and makes me think abortion is an excellent idea." (Klaus Kinsk Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way
around the laws.
- Plato Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
- Napoleon Bonaparte "A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) J Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
-- Thomas Dewar The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen J
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
-- John Cage Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you
will become a philosopher.
-- Socrates When you're away, I'm restless, lonely
Wretched, bored, dejected; only
here's the rub, my darling dear,
I feel the same when you are here.
-- Samuel Hoffenstein J It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the "I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education." (Wilson Mizner) Silence is argument carried out by other means.
-- Ernesto "Che" Guevara J
Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all,
give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of
sexual The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
-- Paul Ehrlich Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson J The real test of friendship is: Can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy
together those moments of life that are utterly simple? They are the moments people looks back
on at I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald "I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education." (Wilson Mizner) J
Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have
had any experience with them.
-- H. L. Mencken blah bla "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." (Albert Einstein) A witty saying proves nothing.
- Voltaire Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. -- C "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) J Establishing yourself, furnishing a house, building up a comfortable existence, and having that menace hanging over your head all the time - no, I prefer to live in hotels, cafés, just passing through Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
-- Anonymous This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper J
It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." (John Benfield) "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) I am in total control, but don't tell my wife. Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain J "One pretty good definition of college is that it's a place where people are made to read difficult books." (Jonathan Franzen) There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an
afternoon.
-- Giraudoux >From the Far East I send you one single thought, one sole idea--written in red on every
beachhead form Australia to Tokyo--There is no substitute for victory!
-- General Douglas MacArthur J
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for
your face.
-- Anita Wise Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe J "... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
- Niels Bohr J
This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn't want to be tracked. It takes
time to get a dance right, to create something memorable.
-- Fred Astaire Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them.
-- Aristotle Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese "The great aim of education is not knowledge but action." (Herbert Spencer) J Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just
flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the
unreflective creation, the truth of immortality....The most ideal human passion is love, which is
also the m I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx J
The church must be the critic and guide of the state, and never its tool.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
-- Gloria Steinem "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.
-- Alphonse Karr J The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism. --Heidi Hartmann [The Unhappy Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. J
"You make 'em, I amuse 'em." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, on children) "Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential..." ( Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-- Semisonic, Closing Time Biography lends to death a new terror.
-- Oscar Wilde "Plato was a bore." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) J The less a man thinks or knows about his virtues, the better we like him.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) "By seeing the seed of failure in every success, we remain humble. By seeing the seed of success in every failure we remain hopeful." (Mel Ziegler, founder of Banana Republic) J
"I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is." (Alan Watts) What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions; life is
plurality, death is uniformity.
-- Octavio Paz The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
-- Andy Warhol We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
- General Douglas MacArthur Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." J "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.
-- Oscar Wilde I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
-- Elvis Presley J
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and
begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that he sometimes has to eat them.
-- Adlai Stevenson "Wise men learn more from fools, than fools from the wise." (Anonymous) Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and
illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P. J. O'Rourke J You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
-- John Ciardi Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of
the time.
-- E. B. White Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
-- Samuel Johnson J
