Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
- Helen Rowland "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats.
-- English Proverb My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! L A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope "For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?" (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe L
We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
-- Aesop I think, therefore I'm single.
-- Female philosopher Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with
it.
-- Colin Powell I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides L "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
-- Finley Peter Dunne Sex is God's joke on human beings.
-- Bette Davis L
You cannot think about thinking, without thinking about thinking about something.
-- Seymour Papert Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
- Ross MacDonald Marriage is a rest period between romances. To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
- Oscar Wilde If the government wants people to respect the law, it should set a better example.
-- Anon. L If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- Mario Andretti I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa L
A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) "Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." (Mae West) How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create
it herself.
- Anais Nin L Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars
-- Les Brown Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
-- Virginia Woolf I don't know as much as God, but I know more than He did at my age.
-- Henry Kissinger L
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
- Sir Winston Churchill Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-- Indian proverb "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
-- Winston Churchill You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres L This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
-- Horace Walpole Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The
gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.
-- Thomas Arnold Bennet A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you.
-- Adlai Stevenson L
"You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten.
-- Mark Twain "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." (Andy Warhol) Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt L Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln L
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
-- Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam, 1850, line 27, stanza 4 "Feeding is a very important ritual for me. I don't trust people who don't like to eat." (Gina Gershon) Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each
other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's
nerves If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
-- Maya Angelou The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. L "The reward of a thing well done is having done it." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. "There cannot be a God because, if there were one, I would not believe that I was not He." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) L
Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of
fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality
and Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.
-- Francis Crawford My other wife is beautiful. Cricket is best described as organised loafing.
-- Anonymous British Radio Broadcaster, 1996 L 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap "It is the nature of a man as he grows older, a small bridge in time, to protest against change, particularly change for the better." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln L
I am in total control, but don't tell my wife. "Plato was a bore." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong "When once you have tasted flight you will always walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward: for there you have been and there you will always be." (Henry Van Dyke) UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 L One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
-- Sophocles "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) Men are strong only so long as they represent a strong idea. They become powerless when they
oppose it.
-- Sigmund Freud L
Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by
definition, is unassailable.
-- James Baldwin, Nobody Knows My Name, 1961 For the memory of love is sweet, though the love itself were in vain. And what I have lost of
pleasure, assuage what I find of pain.
-- Lyster Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. L "Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." (Larry Flynt) I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
-- Wayne Gretzky The open-minded see the truth in different things: the narrow-minded see only the differences.
-- Author Unknown L
A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking.
-- Martin H. Fischer For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely
unnatural condition.
-- Robert Briffault He who limps is still walking.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce L The mistakes are all waiting to be made.
- chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) on the game's opening position Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
-- John Heywood Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
-- P. J. O'Rourke L
