Knowhere Guide to Astley - Informal information supplied by locals. With links to a noticeboard facility.
"I owe much to my friends; but, all things considered, it strikes me that I owe even more to my enemies. The real person springs life under a sting even better than under a caress." (André Gide) blah "A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the
truth.
- Sherlock Holmes "Goodwill is the only asset that competition cannot undersell or destroy." (Mrshall Field, businessman and philanthropist) Guides and Directories Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds.
-- Buddha Live out of your imagination, not your history.
-- Stephen Covey Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
-- Bob Perelman Guides and Directories
The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.
-- Anonymous The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C. Stacey Woods The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer Guides and Directories We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
-- Aristotle Honor's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times.
-- Jonson, Ben The artist alone sees spirits. But after he has told of their appearing to him, everybody sees them.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Guides and Directories
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies Establishing yourself, furnishing a house, building up a comfortable existence, and having that menace hanging over your head all the time - no, I prefer to live in hotels, cafés, just passing through A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no
religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear
of Guides and Directories To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. To correct a natural indifference I was placed half-way between misery and the sun. Misery kept
me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn't
everythin The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth Guides and Directories
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
-- Gore Vidal Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner "I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
-- Samuel Butler A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash Guides and Directories In the blithe days of honeymoon,
With Kate's allurements smitten,
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon,
And call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat,
And cross like other wives.
"Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill Guides and Directories
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock "If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
-Robert Frost (1874-1963) The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha Guides and Directories I am become death, shatterer of worlds.
-- Robert J. Oppenheimer, citing from the Bhagavadgita, after witnessing the world's first nuclear
explosion "It seems to me that almost all our sadnesses are moments of tension, which we feel as paralysis because we no longer hear our astonished emotions living." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poe "I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me." (George Bernard Shaw) Guides and Directories
"In married life three is company and two is none." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) A small family is soon provided for.
-- English Proverb The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-- Anatole France Guides and Directories The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the
betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it,
Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me
de When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby.
-- Nigerian Proverb Guides and Directories
"Use what talents you possess; The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." (William Blake) Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
-- Al Bernstein I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.
-- Doug MacLeod Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. Guides and Directories This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
-- Horace Walpole "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) "I am a part of all that I have met." (Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English poet) Guides and Directories
"Beauty without expression is boring." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." (Abbie Hoffman) "If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?" (Vince Lombardi) The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
-- Robert M. Pirsig Guides and Directories A witty saying proves nothing.
- Voltaire There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper Guides and Directories
I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement
speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have
th "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
- Auric Goldfinger, in Goldfinger by Ian L. Fleming "The masses are far more likely to believe a big lie than several small ones." (Adolf Hitler) Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
-- Karl Marx, dying words to his housekeeper Guides and Directories "The only way to have friends is to be one." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
-- Anonymous Guides and Directories
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
-- Wilson Mizner Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin Guides and Directories A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live Guides and Directories
We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good
taste in men!
-- Wedding Toast Tauzin backs term limits -- But he thinks it's a bad idea.
-- Headline, story in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Feb 20, 1995 Guides and Directories Author: A fool, who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on
tormenting the generations to come.
-- Montesquieu The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings "Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) Guides and Directories
