"We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) "Gifts must affect the receiver to the point of shock." (Walter Benjamin) "Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Walk beside me and just be my friend." (Albert Camus) Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
-- Adolf Hitler Education At every crossroads on the path that leads to the future, tradition has placed 10,000 men to guard
the past.
-- Maurice Maeterlink I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene "People drag their progeny around with them like a ball and chain, like some terrible deadweight that hinders their every move - and that, as often as not, effectively winds up killing them." (Michel Education
Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up
our minds to walk boldly through them.
-- Orison Swett Marden There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another
to the world.
-- Antonio Machado Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
-- Robert Frost I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) Education Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with
the powerful, not to be neutral.
-- Paulo Freire I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
-- Virginia Woolf The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to
passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . .
grand Education
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
-- Brian Pickrell Property may be destroyed and money may lose its purchasing power; but, character, health,
knowledge and good judgement will always be in demand under all conditions.
-- Roger Babson The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- Henry Louis Mencken "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) We can do no great things; only small things with great love.
-- Mother Teresa Education blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) It is not because it is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are
difficult.
-- Lucius Anneaus Seneca Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.
- James Stephens Education
Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.
-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.
-- Beau Brummel "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) Education You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
-- Henry Ford Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the
second, "For my best friend."
-- Anonymous A hippo does not have a sting in its tail, but a wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee.
-- Polish proverb Education
Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
-- Yogi Berra Watching the debate this afternoon it was apparent they loved term limits in the House -- as
Brutus loved Caesar.
-- Bill Moyers I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again.
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics a Education Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
-- James Joyce Marriage is like a cage--one sees the birds outside desperate to get in and those inside equally
desparate to get out.
-- Di Peatlins Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Education
A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II "There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience." (Archibald McLeish) "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." (Aristotle) The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
-- Robert M. Pirsig Education Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this
is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion Education
The great man fights the elements in his time that hinder his own greatness, in other words his own freedom and sincerity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
- Samuel Palmer Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. [You reporters] should have printed what he meant, not what he said.
-- Earl Bush, press aide to Richard Daley Education "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the giants on whose
shoulders we stand.
-- Gerald Holton Education
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken "If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) "What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to a human soul." (Joseph Addison) When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home.
-- Betty Bender Education Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce Education
Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in
accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Oscar Wilde I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, Education The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
-- Thomas Szasz Education
Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner The great tragedy of science, the slaying of a beautiful theory by an ugly fact.
-- Thomas Henry Huxley "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) Education "Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows it?" (Alec Guinness) Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." (Chuck Jones) Education
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house
as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
-- Homer, Odyssey, ninth century The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
-- Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin, 1973 "The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac Education Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
-- Tom Robbins Nobody ever died of laughter.
-- Max Beerbohm The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
-- Andy Warhol Education
