Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil
underneath.
-- Jacob Braude Education If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken Education
Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht blah "An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion." ( By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is
not read.
-- Oscar Wilde Education You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton "One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
- Mark Twain Education
Icky icky icky icky fKANG zoop-boing n zowzyin...
-- The Knights who so recently said "Nee!", Monty Python, British comedy television show "The man who never made a mistake never made anything." (Derek Longdon, Tongariro Power Development, Turangi, New Zealand) Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent
ages as much as 20 years.
-- Anonymous blah "An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion." ( My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me!
-- Henry Ford Education "The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) More light!
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, dying words I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again.
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show Education
You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories.
-- Stanislaw J. Lem The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us.
-- Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Every day sends to their
graves obscure men whom timidity prevented from making a first effort.
-- Sydney Smith Education Knowledge is the intellectual manipulation of carefully verified observations.
-- Sigmund Freud Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference.
-- Libbie Fudim Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.
-- John Heisman Education
Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.
-- Polish proverb Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford "The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n Education To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-- Lao Tzu America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a
chair.
-- Arnold Toynbee Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs Education
A friend is a gift you give yourself.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf The work of internal government has become the task of controlling the thousands of fifth-rate
men.
-- Henry B. Adams The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson Education This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan Education
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
-- George Bernard Shaw There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
-- George Bernard Shaw I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Jim Scheibel, mayor, St. Paul MN Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to
realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and
grie Education "I've decided something: Commercial things really do stink. As soon as it becomes commercial for a mass market it really stinks." (Andy Warhol, The Andy Warhol Diaries, 1989) If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model.
Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush...
-- Dawn French Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee Education
Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil
underneath.
-- Jacob Braude "Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." (Larry Flynt) blah "You shall find out how salt is the taste of another man's bread, and how hard is the way up and down another man's stairs." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) To correct a natural indifference I was placed half-way between misery and the sun. Misery kept
me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn't
everythin Education Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain
terrible.
-- Jean Kerr The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republic Education
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman blah bl "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
-- John Tudor I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.
-- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic
wastes to Third Wo The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.
-- Anonymous Education Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
-- Lisa Hoffman I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked
me in the cellar.
-- Anonymous Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
-- Simeon Strunsky Education
Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.
-- Samuel Paterson I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.
-- Dr. Benjamin Spock, American pediatrician, address to new parents And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln "I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer Education For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney Trust, but verify.
-- Ronald Reagan Education
"In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon.
-- Jerry Olson You cannot think about thinking, without thinking about thinking about something.
-- Seymour Papert When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy Education Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them
down people's throats.
-- Howard Aiken "See - one side of my face is gentle and kind, incapable of anything but love of my fellow man. The other side, the other profile, is cruel and predatory and evil, incapable of anything but lusts and Education
