All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) "We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." (Bill Mahe The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin Health Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.
-- Thornton Wilder I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb True thinkers are characterised by a blending of clearness and mystery.
-- Victor Hugo Health
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval
of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.
-- Henry Miller Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.
-- Clare Boothe Luce The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool.
-- Voltaire "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) Health My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no
character.
-- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of fig A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and
believing you've witnessed the second coming.
-- Guy Kawasaki Health
You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family. Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.
-- F. M. Knowles "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation.
-- Francis Bacon "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Health Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier Health
Give the people not hell, but hope and courage.
-- John Murray Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
- Sacha Guitry "Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." (Native American Proverb) When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home.
-- Betty Bender Health "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn't want to be tracked. It takes
time to get a dance right, to create something memorable.
-- Fred Astaire Health
Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.
-- Chinese Proverb If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams I don't feel good.
-- Luther Burbank, dying words For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne Health He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
-- Terry Cohen Your every voter, as surely as your chief magistrate, exercises a public trust.
-- Grover Cleveland Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra Health
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant
day into your answers.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am.
-- Samuel Johnson "You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, On becoming a writer, NY Times 21 All you need is love.
-- The Beatles, song title Health "Good taste is the first refuge of the non-creative. It is the last-ditch stand of the artist." (Marshall McLuhan) Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy Health
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
-- Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam, 1850, line 27, stanza 4 Experience is the name every one gives his mistakes.
-- Elbert Hubbard "Talent does what it can; genius does what it must." (Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton) One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell
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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-- Benjamin Franklin Health A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov Health
Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all,
give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of
sexual I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.
-- John Cleese, Monty Python, British comedy television show What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Health To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
-- Oscar Wilde The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.
-- Virginia Woolf Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.
-- John Galsworthy Health
Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci The limits of my language means the limits of my world.
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
-- Mother Teresa We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
-- Winston Churchill Health When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with
the buttered side down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the 2 will hover,
To teach is to learn twice.
-- Joseph Joubert Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware;
those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
-- Unknown author, Levitating T Health
"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) "Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience." (George Bernard Shaw) "The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all." (Harry S. Truman) "Better is the enemy of good." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) Health The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
- Samuel Palmer The sun never sets on the British empire because Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the
west.
-- Unknown history student Health
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when
we created them.
- Albert Einstein "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) "There is nothing more fearful than ignorance in action." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, Criticisms, Reflections and Maxims) The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it.
-- Anonymous There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana Health Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain "When once you have tasted flight you will always walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward: for there you have been and there you will always be." (Henry Van Dyke) Health
