Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all
I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."
-- Jerry Seinfeld "I've just had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that's the record." (Dylan Thomas, final words) Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, Society and Culture Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong Society and Culture
If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
-- Thomas Dewar "Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) Society and Culture Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
-- Benjamin Franklin These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off
his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.
-- Finley Peter Dunne, Mr. Dooley O Society and Culture
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson. The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- Henry Louis Mencken The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed
desperation.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854) A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland Society and Culture I didn't accept it. I received it.
-- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and
two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he hel What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings Society and Culture
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
- John F. Kennedy when asked what is his favorite song Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
-- G. K. Chesterton If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would
be able to endure it.
-- Schopenhauer When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru Society and Culture Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.
-- Marcus Aurelius "O' What may man within him hide, though angel on the outward side!" (William Shakespeare) Society and Culture
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
- Samuel Palmer When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
-- Irwin Corey Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Society and Culture "Some people wear their heart up on their sleeve. I wear mine underneath my right pant leg, strapped to my boot." (Ani Difranco) It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
-- Harry Truman Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche Society and Culture
Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
-- Thomas Dewar I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein "Murder is the very bed-rock of our social institutions." (Octave Mirbeau, The Torture Garden) I am ready at any time. Do not keep me waiting.
-- John Brown - last words Society and Culture Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.
-- Ralph Marston The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder "The only way to have friends is to be one." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Society and Culture
"We always get bored with those whom we bore." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed
desperation.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854) "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. Society and Culture "Babies are necessary to grown-ups. A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. In a world that is cutting down its trees to build highways, losing its eart The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
-- Wehrner von Braun Society and Culture
In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but how
many can get through to you.
-- Mortimer J. Adler "Fear is the dark room where the Devil develops his negatives." (Gary Busey) Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you.
-- Adlai Stevenson There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power
so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics Society and Culture Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the
wrong remedies.
-- Groucho Marx "One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
-- Anonymous Society and Culture
In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
-- André Maurois Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
-- Abraham Lincoln "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations Society and Culture The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool.
-- Voltaire May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) Society and Culture
They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so
brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. Society and Culture "We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." (Bill Mahe I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe Society and Culture
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
- Mark Twain Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
-- Buddha We look forward to the time when the power to love of will replace the love of power. Then will our
world know the blessings of peace.
-- William Gladstone The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
-- Aaron Machado Society and Culture Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without
the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller Chance is always powerful. - Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it,
there will be a fish.
-- Ovid Society and Culture
