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"If you believe everything you read, you better not read." (Japanese Proverb) I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
- e e cummings Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read.
-- Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
-- Jim Beggs Failsworth I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the
advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first.
-- Benjamin Franklin I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
-- Pierre Augustin de Beaumarchais Failsworth
Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack.
-- Mary Roberts Rhinehart The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
-- Publilius Syrus I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard What is politics, after all, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other peoples'
decisions for them?
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All Failsworth In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it,
Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me
de Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage,
he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
-- Helen Roland Failsworth
Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais Per cubic inch, your current TV set is perhaps the dumbest appliance in your home (and I'm not
even talking about the programs).
-- Nicholas Negroponte Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-- Indian proverb As life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action
of his time, at the peril of being not to have lived.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. Failsworth Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?
-- Harry Shearer What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crowf Failsworth
"If you want to make enemies, try to change something." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a
woman.
-- Virginia Woolf "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously u "I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand." (Confucius, 551 BC-479) Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
-- Frank L. Visco, How to Write Good Failsworth The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism. --Heidi Hartmann [The Unhappy Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
-- Virginia Woolf Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud Failsworth
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
-- Charlie Chaplin "Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you." (Robert A. Heinlein) Choose a wife by your ear than your eye.
-- Thomas Fuller, 1732 In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa Failsworth "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
-- Mark Twain Failsworth
A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh "Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself." (Gerald Brenan) Failsworth I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein The mistakes are all waiting to be made.
- chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) on the game's opening position To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its
prime function of looking forward.
-- Margaret Fairless Barber Failsworth
Courage is the price that Love exacts for granting peace.
-- Amelia Earhart English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
- Karl Wallenda "I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus." (Norman B Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is.
-- Diane Ackerman Failsworth "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth Luck is the residue of design.
- Branch Rickey - former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good and
tomorrow aint as bad as it seems.
-- Billy Joel Failsworth
"Do you know that places only yield up their secrets, their most profound mysteries, to those who are just passing through?" (Salman Rushdie, The Moor's Last Sigh) "Liberty has never come from the government. Liberty has always come from the subjects of it. The history of liberty is a history of resistance. The history of liberty is a history of limitations of g Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings Silence is as full of potential wisdom and wit as the unhewn marble of a great sculpture.
-- Aldous Huxley A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw Failsworth Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the
truth.
- Sherlock Holmes Facts are the enemy of truth.
- Don Quixote - Man of La Mancha Failsworth
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
-- Henry Ford Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.
-- John Heisman The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) Failsworth I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't
certain we knew better.
-- George Bird Evans There are some things which cannot be learned quickly, and time, which is all we have, must be
paid heavily for their acquiring. They are the very simplest things and, because it takes a man's
life "Teacher played hooky. Sent message: 'Receiving instruction. Enjoying myself thoroughly. See you next week.'" (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Failsworth
Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In
this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
-- Marianne Williamson A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.
-- Fred Hoyle The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz Failsworth When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask
is a chance."
-- Anon. Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. -- C A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally
stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier Failsworth
blah "Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born." (Anais Nin) Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for
love is measured by fullness, not by reception.
-- Harold Loukes "... What good are dreams if they come true?" (Frederick Exley, A Fan's Notes) If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from Failsworth "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real senten There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
-- Oscar Wilde I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black Failsworth
