Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
-- William Temple The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown Age does not make us childish, as some say; it finds us true children.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it.
-- Anonymous Guides and Directories "He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Many a man has finally succeeded only because he has failed after repeated efforts. If he had
never met defeat he would never have known any great victory.
-- Orison Swett Marden A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland Guides and Directories
"Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
- Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943 There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
-- Oscar Wilde Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt Guides and Directories Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
-- John Tudor "I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending that haunts our sleep so much as the fear ... that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived." (Rabbi H The better part of one's life consists of his friendships.
-- Abraham Lincoln Guides and Directories
"The most beautiful things in the world are the most useless, peacocks and lilies, for instance." (John Ruskin) A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine Guides and Directories "Drugs have done a lot of good. A lot of good songs have been written. 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. 'Dark Side of the Moon?' 100 dead kids. At least that many were conceived by people listening The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce Guides and Directories
Obedience is the gateway through which knowledge, yes, and love, too, enter the mind of the
child.
-- Anne Sullivan "I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) "What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e Guides and Directories And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V Guides and Directories
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man
will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
-- Henry Ford While we are postponing, life speeds by.
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD) Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) Guides and Directories By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is
simply one of those things which happen from time to time.
-- Edward P. Tryon We got to roll with the punches, play all of our hunches, make the best of whatever comes your
way. Forget that blind ambition, learn to trust your intuition -- plowing straight ahead, come what
may Guides and Directories
"The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n Thomas Jefferson--still surv...
-- John Adams, dying words Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-- H. L. Mencken "The monster a child knows best and is most concerned with [is] the monster he feels or fears himself to be. " (Bruno Bettelheim, child psychologist) Guides and Directories "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." (George Carlin) I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Guides and Directories
"Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." (Eddie Rickenbacker) To take what there "is", and use it, without waiting forever in vain for the preconceived - to dig
deep into the actual and get something out of that - this doubtless is the right way to live.
-- H "Friends are those people who know the words to the song in your heart and sing them back to you when you have forgotten the words." (Anonymous) There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good
marriage
-- Martin Luther Seek the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day.
-- Thornton Wilder Guides and Directories "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream." (Eleanor Roosevelt) "Every now and then say, 'What the fu(c)k.' 'What the fu(c)k' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future." (Curtis Armstrong, Risky Business, 1983) "Feeding is a very important ritual for me. I don't trust people who don't like to eat." (Gina Gershon) Guides and Directories
Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only
hope to find in their butlers.
-- W. Somerset Maugham "It is a curious thing that God learned Greek when he wished to turn author--and that he did not learn it better." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that
M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde Guides and Directories Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
-- Samuel Butler To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
-- Ghandi Guides and Directories
In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled.
-- Paul Eldridge Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In
this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
-- Marianne Williamson It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-- Gore Vidal "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.
-- Thomas Dekker Guides and Directories If the government wants people to respect the law, it should set a better example.
-- Anon. "Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute
for life.
-- Andrew Brown Guides and Directories
Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain Experience is the name every one gives his mistakes.
-- Elbert Hubbard "I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale Guides and Directories It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth Cricket is best described as organised loafing.
-- Anonymous British Radio Broadcaster, 1996 Guides and Directories
"The order of the world is always right - such is the judgment of God. For God has departed, but he has left his judgment behind, the way the Cheshire Cat left his grin." (Jean Baudrillard) To love another person is to see the face of God.
-- Lyric from Les Miserables 'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
-- Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam, 1850, line 27, stanza 4 I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly Guides and Directories Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
-- Anthony Burgess See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
-- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
-- Louise Hay Guides and Directories
