"If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change." (John A. Simone Sr.) I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey To love another person is to see the face of God.
-- Lyric from Les Miserables Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
- George Burns Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton Health Who, being loved, is poor?
-- Oscar Wilde Success is just a matter of attitude.
-- Darcy E. Gibbons To love another person is to see the face of God.
-- Lyric from Les Miserables Health
"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats.
-- English Proverb "It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) Health "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers My other wife is beautiful. Health
"The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason." (John Cage) All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.
-- Aristotle When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -- Guitry "The English have all the material requisites for the revolution. What they lack is the spirit of generalization and revolutionary ardour." (Karl Marx) "Death solves all problems--no man, no problem." (Josef Stalin) Health The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have
had any experience with them.
-- H. L. Mencken Health
The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
- Sacha Guitry People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only
make $500,000.
-- Pete Incaviglia, baseball player, 1990 A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
- Helen Rowland Health A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
-- Igor Stravinsky Health
If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
-- Tom Robbins People need loving the most when they deserve it the least.
-- John Harrigan Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to
happen to him.
-- John Barrymore - last words Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. -- Oscar Wilde Health An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested
he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley Health
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one
thing.
-- Abraham Lincoln A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein The closer I'm bound in love to you, the closer I am to free.
-- Indigo Girls, song lyric Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill Health Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
-- Thomas Dewar We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers Health
Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci blah "Ability wins us the esteem of the true men; luck that of the people." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person
must be fired.
-- Conway's Law "The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) Health "Friends are those people who know the words to the song in your heart and sing them back to you when you have forgotten the words." (Anonymous) The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other
is ready.
-- Henry David Thoreau Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham Health
He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
-- Anonymous I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-- Sam Kinison blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are
certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein Health My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock Health
It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-- Peter De Vries We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person
perfectly.
-- Anonymous Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland Health The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth "Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the true genius emerges. I don't have enough hair to be a genius. I think you have to have hair going everywhe Health
"It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world." (John Steinbeck "Death is always and under all circumstances a tragedy, for if it is not, then it means that life itself has become one." (Theodore Roosevelt) Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal Health You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were
reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing,
and Health
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
-- Sacha Guitry "The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-- T.S. Eliot Health Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
-- Lisa Hoffman To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
-- Karen Sunde The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
- George Bernard Shaw Health
