I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
-- Clarence Darrow You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwile careers in the
street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack
of u The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the
chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
- unknown Stockport Borough Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to
learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-- Benjamin Franklin Stockport Borough
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's
family does too.
-- Anonymous There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. -- James Holt McGavran Only positive consequences encourage good future performances.
-- Kenneth H. Blanchard Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Stockport Borough "Shared joys make a friend, not shared sufferings." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- William Jennings Bryan A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.
-- Oscar Wilde Stockport Borough
"Liberty has never come from the government. Liberty has always come from the subjects of it. The history of liberty is a history of resistance. The history of liberty is a history of limitations of g If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having
passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-- Anonymous "Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves
beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.
-- Al Rogers, Global SchoolHouse Netw Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly Stockport Borough "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
-- Ellen Hubbard Honor the ocean of love.
-- George de Benneville Stockport Borough
"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano The best defense is a good offense.
-- Anonymous A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
-- Christopher Morley "So little done, so much to do." (Cecil Rhodes) Stockport Borough Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Stockport Borough
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton Education is the state-controlled manufacture of echoes.
-- Norman Douglas Stockport Borough Vote for the man who promises least. He'll be the least disappointing.
-- Bernard Baruch It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and
superior impartiality.
-- Arnold Bennett Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher Von Braun Stockport Borough
And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was
perhaps inevitable.
-- Garry Trudeau Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a
madhouse.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe It is not good enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.
-- Rene Descartes Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words "Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation." (Larry Flynt) Stockport Borough The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley "The market is not an invention of capitalism. It has existed for centuries. It is an invention of civilization." (Mikhail Gorbachev, June 8, 1990) "He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." (Chinese Proverb) Stockport Borough
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
- John D. Rockefeller "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Stockport Borough "One pretty good definition of college is that it's a place where people are made to read difficult books." (Jonathan Franzen) "Things do not change, we change." (Henry David Thoreau) The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
-- Niels Bohr Stockport Borough
Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." (Blaise Pascal) "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) In great matters men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.
-- Gamaliel Bradford Stockport Borough If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
- G. B. Burgin Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H. L. Mencken Stockport Borough
They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin To read a writer is for me not merely to get an idea of what he says, but to go off with him and travel in his company.
Andre Gide When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. "Have you ever fed your pocket and starved your soul?" (Ivana Santilli, Too Deep) Stockport Borough "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- Mario Andretti For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne Stockport Borough
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol Stockport Borough "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru We got to roll with the punches, play all of our hunches, make the best of whatever comes your
way. Forget that blind ambition, learn to trust your intuition -- plowing straight ahead, come what
may I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Stockport Borough
Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
-- John Heywood Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago The artist alone sees spirits. But after he has told of their appearing to him, everybody sees them.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Stockport Borough Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-education from happening. [...] The
average American (should be) content with their humble role in life, because they're not tempted
to Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an
automobile.
-- Billy Sunday Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Stockport Borough
