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The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool.
-- Voltaire Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read.
-- Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul.
-- Jean Cocteau Tameside The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt "Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food." (George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman) Teach a parrot the terms "supply and demand" and you've got an economist.
-- Thomas Carlyle Tameside
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde "Gifts must affect the receiver to the point of shock." (Walter Benjamin) When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with
the buttered side down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the 2 will hover,
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Tameside Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter "There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience." (Archibald McLeish) "The reward of a thing well done is having done it." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Tameside
Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante "If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change." (John A. Simone Sr.) blah "A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) Tameside Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
- Rudyard Kipling It makes no difference who you vote for - the two parties are really one party representing four
percent of the people.
-- Gore Vidal The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper Tameside
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pens&eactue;es, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland Tameside If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!
-- Rory Bremner Honor lies in honest toil.
-- Grover Cleveland Tameside
Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright Tameside "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
-- Sophocles Tameside
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
-- H. L. Mencken "If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Will to Power, 1888) I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and
members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
- Helen Rowland Tameside When a man takes an oath, Meg, he's holding his ownself in his own hands. Like water. And if he
opens his fingers then- he needn't hope to find himself again.
-- Robert Bolt from A Man For All Seas Destiny is but a phrase of the weak human heart - the dark apology for every error. The strong
and virtuous admit no destiny. On earth conscience guides; in heaven God watches. And destiny
is but th Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams Tameside
"Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
-- ROBERT FROST Watching the debate this afternoon it was apparent they loved term limits in the House -- as
Brutus loved Caesar.
-- Bill Moyers Tameside The closer I'm bound in love to you, the closer I am to free.
-- Indigo Girls, song lyric Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer Tameside
There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing, and that's all you'll ever find."
-- Robert Flaherty Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because
generally they are the same people.
-- G. K. Chesterton "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) Tameside "Courageous, untroubled, mocking and violent--that is what Wisdom wants us to be. Wisdom is a woman, and loves only a warrior." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) To love another person is to see the face of God.
-- Lyric from Les Miserables "Self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." (Samuel Johnson) Tameside
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing
popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
-- Dave Barry People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet To die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture.
-- Anatole France I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 "Nothing is permanent but change." (Heraclitus) Tameside It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen "Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) "The great aim of education is not knowledge but action." (Herbert Spencer) Tameside
I date this girl for two years--and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name."
-- Mike Binder "The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions." (John A. Simone Jr.) University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-- Albert Einstein Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without
feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex,
the ugl Tameside I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
-- Thomas Dewar Tameside
Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx blah bl "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) Tameside A witty saying proves nothing.
- Voltaire Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person that loves you
enough chance to love you enough.
-- Dinah Shore My other wife is beautiful. Tameside
