Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. What's another word for "Thesaurus?"
-- Steven Wright Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love.
-- French saying I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin Financial Services "College professors are the people who can't hack it in the real world." (William Thomas) You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
-- John Ciardi What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry Financial Services
Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each
other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's
nerves What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions; life is
plurality, death is uniformity.
-- Octavio Paz Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork
picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
-- Tom Stoppard The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde Financial Services Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man. "Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, 'What?! You too! Thought I was the only one.'" (Clive Staples Lewis) "In order to keep anything cultural, logical, or ideological, you have to reinvent the reality of it." (Ani Difranco) Financial Services
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
- Lewis Perelman And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.
-- The Beatles, The last lyric of their last song An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A. Knopf "I'll tell you something: Luxury disgusts me." (Giorgio Armani) Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or
failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
-- George R. Kirkpatrick Financial Services I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and
members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright "To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend." (Jacques Derrida, French 'deconstructionist') Financial Services
I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up
our minds to walk boldly through them.
-- Orison Swett Marden For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The
rest is trust.
-- Nanette Newman, British actress then the world 's mine oyster
-- William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor Financial Services In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
- W.B. Prescott A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.
-- Moliere The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules.
-- Elting E. Morison Financial Services
Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the price to make them come true.
-- Anon. I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di Financial Services The average person thinks he isn't.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
-- Robert Frost There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein Financial Services
Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton "I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) "When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
-- Stephen Leacock Financial Services I don't know exactly what democracy is. But we need more of it.
-- Anonymous Chinese Student, during protests in Tianamen Square, Beijing, 1989 Ambition is not a vice of little people.
-- Michel de Montaigne You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality.
-- Hermann Weyl Financial Services
"Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the
table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the
disg Laundry increases exponentially in the number of children.
-- Miriam Robbins Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately
becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in
those tiny toil Financial Services Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim
poses.
-- John Weitz, American Designer We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him.
-- Shelley Winters The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich Financial Services
There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the
instrument plays itself.
-- Johann Sebastian Bach Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age.
-- Jeanne Moreau "All our best men are laughed at in this nightmare land." (Jack Keroac) "We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." (Bill Mahe I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than
knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein Financial Services The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) "I don't believe people die. They just go uptown. To Bloomingdales. They just take longer to get back." (Andy Warhol) Financial Services
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown "Where there's a marriage without love there will be love without marriage." (Benjamin Franklin) blah "Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born." (Anais Nin) Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Financial Services "I know that God won't give me more trouble than I can handle ... but sometimes I wish he wouldn't trust me so much." (Mother Teresa) Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the
touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.
-- Jonathan S. Haas "The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore." (Samuel Butler) Financial Services
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the
wrong remedies.
-- Groucho Marx "Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself." (Gerald Brenan) See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
-- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken I married beneath me. All women do.
-- Lady Nancy Astor, attributed Financial Services "Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
-- Robert Orben Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple, learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a
dozen.
-- John Steinbeck Financial Services
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
-- George Santayana "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." (Samuel Goldwyn) The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be
feasible.
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper prop "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Bible, Proverbs 16:24) Financial Services We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy
the waking hours much more.
-- Woody Allen "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil) Financial Services
