Liverpool Comedy Festival - Annual summer festival. Includes information about upcoming and past events.
Rawhide Comedy Club - Hosting performances every Friday and Saturday. Directions, upcoming schedule, news and contact information included.
Laughterhouse - Comedy nights in Liverpool and Crosby. Listings, reviews, and information about corporate entertainment.
Love is friendship set on fire.
- Jeremy Taylor Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos A person is not given integrity. It results from the relentless pursuit of honesty at all times.
-- Anon. Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
-- Anonymous Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 Comedy I have read your book and much like it.
-- Moses Hadas, book reviewer Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
- Charles de Gaulle Comedy
There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at
heart, you can't take part. And you've got to put your body upon the gears and upon the wheels,
upon the lev The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) Comedy Feeding the hungry is a greater work than raising the dead.
-- Saint John Chrysostom Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx "To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die." (Thomas Campbell) Comedy
"The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore." (Samuel Butler) This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more
they possess.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke "The depth and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of the customary conditions of their life, for only th This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.
-- Tom Robbins Comedy Success is just a matter of attitude.
-- Darcy E. Gibbons There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-- Benjamin Franklin Biography lends to death a new terror.
-- Oscar Wilde Comedy
There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and
flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. I am not young enough to know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves "The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing." (John Powell) Comedy Where there is love there is life.
-- Gandhi The best defense is a good offense.
-- Anonymous You can pay attention to the fact, in which case you'll probably become a mathematician, or you
can ignore it, in which case you'll probably become a physicist.
-- Len Evans, professor, Northwestern Comedy
Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-- Albert Einstein Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork
picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
-- Tom Stoppard If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth. -- John Lyly Comedy "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, Comedy
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
-Robert Frost (1874-1963) You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
-- Albert Camus Every man knows his follies and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
-- Josh Billings A man's reach should exeed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Comedy Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. President "One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa Comedy
"I like boring things." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh When nations grow old, the arts grow cold and commerce settles on every tree.
-- William Blake "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." (Erica Jong) Comedy Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than
you is a maniac.
-- George Carlin A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings Parents often talk about the younger generations as if they didn't have anything to do with it. Comedy
Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.
-- Margaret Mead Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced. That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been
all along.
-- Madeleine L'Engle Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference.
-- Libbie Fudim Comedy To correct a natural indifference I was placed half-way between misery and the sun. Misery kept
me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn't
everythin All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
- Ambrose Bierce It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that is the way
to bet.
-- Damon Runyan Comedy
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read.
-- Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder Comedy Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll, (seen attributed to "R.S. Ingersoll" - a typo?) "I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter." (Blaise Pascal) There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called
marriage.
-- James Holt McGavran Comedy
"I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) "A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." (Kenneth Tynan) But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
- Andrew Marvell "Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conquerer. Kill everyone, and you are a god." (Jean Rostand) It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-- Peter De Vries Comedy Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager "When once you have tasted flight you will always walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward: for there you have been and there you will always be." (Henry Van Dyke) My other wife is beautiful. Comedy
"I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder , chaos--especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom ... Rather than starting inside, I start ou There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully Honor the ocean of love.
-- George de Benneville "Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Comedy To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour.
-- Robert L. Stevenson Launch out into the deep. One discovers by living in scorn of consequence.
-- Essie Summers Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright Comedy
