Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -- Guitry Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon Sefton Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?
-- The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.
-- Edward H. Land Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright Sefton
Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.
- Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep
up with software demands Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison Sefton If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is
the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be
cr blah blah blah blah blah "This is the way the world ends: not with a bang, but a whimper." (Thomas Stearns Eliot, aka T. S. Eliot) _end]
[text_start]
"Hello Kitty is an icon that doesn't stand for a Sefton
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold
of a hammer.
-- Will Rogers The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth "The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full
of grac A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.
-- Oscar Wilde Sefton Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and
retaliation. the foundation of such a method is love.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same
time, and still retain the ability to function.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't
certain we knew better.
-- George Bird Evans Sefton
blah bla "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." (Albert Einstein) My Alma mater was books, a good library . . . . I could spend the rest of my life reading, just
satisfying my curiosity.
--Malcolm X An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human I think, therefore I'm single.
-- Female philosopher The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. Sefton He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio I am in total control, but don't tell my wife. "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." (Cher) Sefton
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
- Von Clausewitz May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
-- Virginia Woolf "The perception of beauty is a moral test." (Henry David Thoreau) "Things do not change, we change." (Henry David Thoreau) Sefton I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) Sefton
"I owe much to my friends; but, all things considered, it strikes me that I owe even more to my enemies. The real person springs life under a sting even better than under a caress." (André Gide) "I'm basically an optimist in life but this doesn't prevent me from deducing as a scientist that we are probably doomed." (Vladimir Chaloupka, physicist, University of Washington, regarding mankind's Stung by the splendour of a sudden thought.
-- Robert Browning "Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience." (George Bernard Shaw) A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
-- Navaho saying Sefton An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for
love is measured by fullness, not by reception.
-- Harold Loukes "I think people resist freedom because they're afraid of the unknown. But it's ironic....That unknown was once very well known. It's where are souls belong....The only solution is to confront them--co An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human Sefton
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-- Albert Einstein I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.
-- Ralph Marston Sefton Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a
brand new ending.
-- Anonymous "Drugs have done a lot of good. A lot of good songs have been written. 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. 'Dark Side of the Moon?' 100 dead kids. At least that many were conceived by people listening We have only one person to blame, and that's each other.
-- Barry Beck, New York Ranger, on who started a fight furing a hockey game Sefton
The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot "Education is the process of driving a set of prejudices down your throat." (Martin H. Fischer) I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous.
-- Bill Moyers Sefton They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the
House Bank scandal "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) "You make 'em, I amuse 'em." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, on children) Sefton
Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off
his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.
-- Finley Peter Dunne, Mr. Dooley O Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. I would have made a good Pope.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and
flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar Sefton To be able to say how much love, is love but little.
-- Petrarch I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald Friends applaud, the Comedy is over.
-- Ludwig von Beethoven, dying words Sefton
Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it,
Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me
de "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." (William Blake) I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor The great man fights the elements in his time that hinder his own greatness, in other words his own freedom and sincerity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp Sefton The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
-- Kin Hubbard "Feeding is a very important ritual for me. I don't trust people who don't like to eat." (Gina Gershon) Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner Sefton
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way
around the laws.
- Plato Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon
compounds that crawl.
-- Mike Adams Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Sefton A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne "All our best men are laughed at in this nightmare land." (Jack Keroac) There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-- Benjamin Franklin Sefton
