Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. -- Borge Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
-- Edgar Watson Howe Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra Disability Resources Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories.
-- Stanislaw J. Lem You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres Disability Resources
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham "Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters. Disability Resources Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) Disability Resources
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde There are trivial truths, and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
-- Neils Bohr "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.
-- Harper Lee The mistakes are all waiting to be made.
- chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) on the game's opening position Disability Resources You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your
temper or self-confidence.
-- Robert Frost "It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Disability Resources
"If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." (Mark Twain) It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince "I like boring things." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower "Every act of creation is first an act of destruction." (Pablo Picasso) Disability Resources "Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
-- Andre Gide Disability Resources
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
- Sir Winston Churchill Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
- Sir Winston Churchill Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
-- Joseph Addison No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
-- Honore de Balzac Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. -- Cass Daley Disability Resources I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
-- Bob Perelman "The rules for parents are but three... Love, Limit, and Let them be." (Elaine M. Ward) Disability Resources
In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but how
many can get through to you.
-- Mortimer J. Adler There are trivial truths, and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
-- Neils Bohr I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that is the way
to bet.
-- Damon Runyan Disability Resources "I couldn't find the sports car of my dreams, so I built it myself." (Dr. Ferdinand Porsche) Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde People only see what they are prepared to see.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Disability Resources
I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
-- Nancy Mitford "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger,
as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is
when you r Disability Resources If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my
future crimes.
-- Prince I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur "I couldn't find the sports car of my dreams, so I built it myself." (Dr. Ferdinand Porsche) Disability Resources
"You believe that flag burning shows disrespect towards those who have fought to preserve our freedoms. Punishing protestors shows an even more profound disrespect for the ideals that these people die A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
-- Gloria Steinem Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno. It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
-- Pierre Augustin de Beaumarchais Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon Disability Resources If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz Disability Resources
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. the social sciences were for all those who had not yet decided what to do with their lives, and for
all those whose premature frustrations led them into the sterile alleys of confrontation.
-- Peter My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.
-- Fred Hoyle "Teacher played hooky. Sent message: 'Receiving instruction. Enjoying myself thoroughly. See you next week.'" (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Disability Resources None but a good man is really a living man, and the more good any man does, the more he really
lives. All the rest is death, or belongs to it.
-- Herman Melville Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more
experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat
soiled or torn? Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin Disability Resources
The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde More light!
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, dying words My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me!
-- Henry Ford "God's creatures, great and small ... eat them one, eat them all." (John A. Simone Sr.) "Self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." (Samuel Johnson) Disability Resources The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber "Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself--and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine wit Disability Resources
Your every voter, as surely as your chief magistrate, exercises a public trust.
-- Grover Cleveland "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.
-- Gandhi blah "You shall find out how salt is the taste of another man's bread, and how hard is the way up and down another man's stairs." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
-- Harriet Beecher Stowe Disability Resources Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parent, gobble their food, and tyrannize their
teachers.
-- Socrates The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is
not read.
-- Oscar Wilde LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician Disability Resources
